My Empire Of Dirt
by Miss Meggie
Summary: The next chaptered installment of the Jax/Jenna Saga! Jax & Jenna are back for season three will the relationship bare the weight of Abel's kidnapping or will it crumble? Read to find out.
1. Chapter 1

There were a few things Jenna Teller knew. She loved Jax, Abel, and The Sons. She knew in her gut Gemma hadn't killed Edmund. Polly without a doubt. Edmund not a chance. She knew the tears stopped here. Stopped now. She leaned down kissing Jax's temple. "Honey let's get something to eat."

"Not hungry Jenna. But is he?" she took a deep breath this no tears thing was going to be hard. "I'm sure Cameron's taking care of him. He's grieving not heartless…" he looked up and kissed her. "Oh wait baby are you ok I'm kinda just not here right now…is the baby still are you still…"

"We're both fine honey… Jax I…"

"This isn't your fault Jenna you did your best to stop him. You took a bullet for him. I know you love him and I know you tried."

"If something bad happens to you Jax How am I supposed to protect them? Cameron got away because I couldn't chase him down Jax. No judge his right mind is going to let me a disabled woman keep our kids! Not with the way we live our lives so many dangerous people."

"I'm not going anywhere…and I couldn't catch him either and my legs work fine baby…lets go eat I think you're mother is hovering at the door by now." He stood scrubbing his hands down his face. Sure enough when Jenna opened the door for Jax to wheel her out Ann stood pacing by the door.

"Mom…" she stopped. Bent down kissing the top of Jenna's head. "I made you a bed on the couch so you can be a part of things and be comfortable."

"Mama, I don't want people fussing over me I…we…I need to get to work getting Abel back."

"It's not fussing and we'll get him back we will have faith."

"He can't take him out of the country …no passport. Hale thinks he went underground." Jax said

"So what we wait?"

"No, we smoke him out of whatever hole he's in…"

"Using help from Hale exposes us."

"You let me worry about that."

* * *

Jax and Jenna sat on the couch together. Picking half-heartedly at their food. Clay watched them reminded of emperor penguins he'd seen huddled together for warmth in a blizzard on that discovery earth show Gemma liked so much. They looked as bereft and lost as those penguins had. Like the person next to them were their only friend and protector. Their blizzard being the maelstrom of chaos surrounding Abel's kidnapping. Cameron had put them all over a barrel and Clay couldn't fix it. He could only hope that Abel was safely returned and Gemma was Ok and that they'd all survive. Hope was all he had.

Jenna came back from using the bathroom and everyone but for Hale, Lyla, and her mother were gone.

"What happened I know this house was full when I left…?"

"They got a lead on where Abel might be… you're Daddy said for you to please stay put." Ann said.

"Mama!"

"It's safer and don't Mama Me."

"Fine whatever what's deputy dog still doing here?"

"Set on protecting you."

"Well good look with that Hale… I'll be out back." Soon they heard the strains of a song float through the open door. "Love of mine…some day you will die… but I'll be close behind I will follow you into the dark…"

"I know She didn't just take her arm out of that sling." Ann said but sure enough she had. She played her guitar trying to block out the world.

"No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white…just our hands clasped so tight waiting for the hint of a spark….if heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied… Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs…" Hale walked over leaning on the door. "If there's no one beside you when you're soul embarks I will follow you into the dark."

"We need to talk Jenna."

She sighed "I was trying to find peace but obviously that was lost on you."

"By singing about death?"

"Jax would've gotten it and for the last time quit calling me Jenna."

"What's there to talk about Dave? Asshole shot me and took the kid that's that."

"I want…no I need to protect you…"

"Why? I used you."

"It's my job to protect the innocent."

"I'm not so innocent and how do you plan on doing that anyway? I'm Jax Teller's wife. His wife. That presents a little problem for you unless you plan on becoming Unser."

He ran a hand down is face then plopped into a metal lawn chair next to her. He picked at the white paint on arm of the chair.

"I don't know Jenny…but I refuse to let you go down in flames with him."

"Is that so? I'm guessing that Abel being taken exposes our dealings with the Irish in a bad light?"

"You could say that." She nodded.

"Gemma didn't kill Edmund Dave. I know her and that? Makes no sense. She wasn't afraid of him or what he could do to her…Edmund was a damn door mouse…I could take him…shooting him is stupid and that's one thing Gemma's not."

"So who do you think did it?" he asked just to see how close to the truth she would get.

"I'd put my money on Stahl… she had Edmund back pocketed and we all knew it…as soon as the little tweak started freakin' because Jimmy O can make him for a rat… he was useless to her…she's a smart bitch I'll give her that!"

"Damn, you're too smart for your own good you know that…"

"No, I'm just privy to alotta shit… that I ain't supposed to be tellin' you so…"

"I'll keep my mouth shut Jenny."

"Thank you."

They sat in silence for a bit when Jax appeared in the door. "False Alarm." Jenna jumped

"Geez Baby make some noise…"

"Sorry…"

"We'll find him Jax you have my word…" Hale said.

"One way or another I'm getting him back… what where you playing he nodded at Jenna guitar. The moved to set on the concrete by her feet.

"That Death Cab For Cutie song you like." Lyla poked her head out the door. "We have a baby pool going on the Teller fetus you want in?"

"What are the terms?" Jax asked.

"Sex Name Birth date, time, weight, and length it's up 500 already."

"It wouldn't be fair I already know the sex and name…" Jenna said "You do?" Jax said.

"It's a girl and her name is Arizona Dawn."

"Don't I get a say in naming it? It's my kid I wanted to name it Dinah if it was a girl."

"Over my dead body are we naming it after your bike!"

Hale laughed. "Arizona Dawn sounds like a romance novel title…."

"Arizona because that's her favorite character on Grey's she's smart, tough, optimistic, and believes in magic all things the kid will need to grow up in SAMCRO and remain normal and Dawn after Donna." Opie explained as he stood behind Lyla in the door. "I like it." He added. "And it matches Abel." Jax put in. "it might grow on me." Jax added.

"Still you need a boy's name to be safe…" Lyla interjected.

"We cannot name him Cain!" Jenna said. And Jax laughed and for the briefest of moments he was ok.

* * *

**AN: Ok, So I tried to write a bit of a tease for you guys my thoughts on where things might go I may switch stuff around to fit the season 3 plots so don't get to attached to this…I own Jenna And later Arizona but nothing else! The song Jenna sings is I will follow you into the dark…by death cab for cute… I can send you the youtube link if you want to hear it the way I heard it in my head…I love Kina Grannis' cover of that song! Lastly I hope you liked the tease please review…I'll be putting out the missing "prom scenes" soon so keep an eye out it will be titled History In The Making. Other than that I'll see you all in September! Thanks so much for all your support! -Meghan**


	2. Chapter 2

Jax said he didn't blame her. Jenna wished she could believe that but as she sat in the kitchen staring down at the hooked rug she'd made in home economics freshman year she tried but failed to believe him. She knew he would come home from this latest dead end lead in trying to find Abel and would quietly ignore her and the baby inside her. He blamed her, Tara, himself, the club and he'd need someone to take things out on. She was the most common and unmoving target. She drank down some more coffee which she shouldn't really be drinking it was bad for the baby. She stared off into space for awhile nearly falling asleep when she heard the familiar almost purr of Jax's bike. She looked at the little neon green clock on the microwave stating it was exactly 3:22 am. He came in toeing off his boots.

"Nothing?" she asked knowing it was a stupid question

"You should be sleeping and don't sit in the dark."

"Can't sleep."

"Me either but lets try…" Jax said he grabbed her hand pulling her along behind him.

He lay curled around her in the bed.

"Jax."

"Hm…" He murmured back.

"I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. Come with me?"

"Yeah baby no problem."

* * *

She went to the doctor and Jax didn't bother showing. She sat in the dimly lit club on the couch fighting off her tears. That's how Chibs found her.

"Love?"

She sniffed back tears. "Yeah Chibs sorry I'll get right on that Camaro."

"I'm not here about a car and you know it Jennasis." he picked up her feet and set down dropping them in his lap.

"What'd Jackie boy do?"

"He flaked on me." she hiccupped. "Jesus I'm such a blubbering bitch…but I feel like he hates me."

"He doesn't hate you child that much I do know."

"He blames me for Abel."

"See the thing is love we'll blame anything we can not to blame the club. Because how else do we make ourselves ok with our lives. He blames everything but what deserves the blame and that's SAMCRO love. Mostly he blames himself."

" I don't want him to mistreat this child because Abel's missing."

"I know he doesn't mean to do that… you need to talk to him."

"He won't."

"Oh he will…just trust Uncle Chibs and you're Daddy on that one. I'll go fix the Camaro."

Jax rode into the lot. Jax noticed Chibs whisper something to Piney. Piney walked over to the peg board that held his keys. He tossed them to that kid Jax didn't like.

"Sunshine, take Jenny home. Tell her I'll get her car to her later."

"I don't like that guy being around my wife." he said taking off his helmet. As Piney and Chibs made their way to him.

"The way I see it you're flaking on her now. I want her protected. I trust the kid to do it you don't like it then man up and do something about it."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Means its not nice to make pregnant women cry Jackie boy."

"What?"

"Did you maybe happen to break a promise Jax?" Piney asked.

"Shit! The doctors appointment. I didn't mean to I just I forgot."

"Lass, thinks you hate her and the baby." Chibs said.

"Well that's just stupid! And how do you know she say that?"

"Yeah, found her sitting in the dark alone crying. Don't do that again Jackie boy." he started his bike revved it and took off for home. He pulled up went inside found the kid he hated eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at his kitchen table.

"Where's my wife?"

"Bedroom …" annoying kid chewed. He shrugged out of his cut and gun holster he walked back tossing the word "Leave." over his shoulder at Sunshine.

He found her curled on her side facing the wall clutching Abel's blue bunny.

"Hey my Jenna."

"Hi." she sounded teary. He pushed himself off the door frame walked to the end of the bed climbing in. he crawled over her but held his weight off her.

"I'm sorry honey I just forgot honest." he peeled strands of her hair off of face where her tears had caused them to stick to her face. He ducked down kissing the crook of her neck.

"No you didn't I know you… but I don't wanna fight and the baby's fine. For the record this is hard on me I miss Abel just like you."

"I know baby. I'm sorry I really am I don't hate you. I don't." she choked on a sob.

"Look at me Jenna." he grabbed her face forcing her to look at him.

"As much as I love you and that baby hate isn't possible. I just feel useless we can't find him and even though the other baby isn't a betrayal it feels like one…like I'm moving on without him or something."

"But its not a betrayal Jax… its just life." he curled into her.

"So, what'd the doc say?"

"The baby's healthy on track…but this has its dangers for me."

"What kind of dangers?" he asked slowly pushing up on his elbow to look at her.

"If my AD flares…blood clots…preeclampsia… strokes…heart attacks… death."

"Death? Death Jenna you could die? What the fuck! No, no we're not doing this its not worth that!"

"It is to me Jackson…"

"Why? I don't understand Jenna what's the point of being a mother if you're not around to be one… I won't become Opie I won't do that I won't walk around only half alive…"

"Because its me and you wrapped into one person and I finally have the life I want with you. I want you Abel and this baby I want that more than anything there is nothing saying any of those complications will happen its just a slim possibility."

"Promise me you aren't going anywhere."

"Jax I promise I'm not going anywhere except maybe to the bathroom."

"That's not funny…"

"I know tell me about it! You didn't throw up captain crunch this morning."

"Was it worse than the time you got drunk at Tig's Christmas party and threw up egg nog."

"Way worse and whoever told Tig to put ever clear in the egg nog still deserves to be shot." he laughed

"So, how do we keep you alive?"

"Bed rest …minimal stress which will be impossible and when giving birth pain response control."

"Tara will watch over you along with your other doctor."

"What?"

"I trust her Jenna. I'd trust her with you're life…or I guess I already do."

"But you forget she only tolerates me."

"This isn't up for discussion."

"Fine whatever."

"Jaxy…will you make me a peanut butter and banana sandwich…"

"I will if pretty boy isn't in our kitchen be right back."

* * *

Jenna sat in the parking lot of St. Thomas. She heard a horde of bikes . Tig, Clay, Piney, Jax, Chibs, and Opie all got off their bikes.

"We're all here to show support a united front." Opie stated.

Jenna laughed. "You brought the whole club to my doctors appointment."

Jax leaned down kissing her. "You are pretty."

"You been drinkin'?" she asked.

"He's trying to butter you up because we may have to go to Ireland to get Abel." Tig said.

"Anything to get him back…well lets go."

Tara laughed as the entire club filed into the room. "When Jax makes up he does it in spades. One of you help her onto the table please."

Opie moved to pick her up at the same time as Jax. "Sorry habit." he said.

"Its alright man, heavy lifting its in the brotherly job description right?"

"Oh no you just did not!" Jenna smiled playfully swatting him.

"What?"

"You kinda just called your pregnant wife fat." Tara pointed out as Jax sat Jenna on the table.

Jenna laid back on the table. Tara began fixing the machine to her liking.

"This might be a little cold…" She squirted the gel on. "Piney could you get the lights? Thanks."

"And there is Baby Teller… you feelin' ok Jen?"

"Yeah a little tired…"

"Where? I don't see anything? That little black dot?" Tig asked.

"That's the heart Tig see it beating? Here you guys can listen." soon the loud beat of the baby's heart filled the room. Jax squeezed her hand and sniffed clearing his throat. "You ok?" Jenna asked.

"Yeah, fine…its fast…."

"Its supposed to be…but its in the range for it to be a girl but I can't say for sure yet." Tara told them.

"Ha, told ya so." Jenna teased as Piney bent to kiss her forehead.

* * *

They thought Cameron had popped up yet again with Abel so they had gone to check it out. They had Piney and Tara stay with Jenna. Piney sat in the king sized bed of the guest bedroom watching _"The Best Thing I Ever Ate" _on The Food Network. Jenna transferred on to the bed she lay across Piney's lap on her belly.

"Tickle my back Daddy?" wordlessly he began running his finger tips up and down her back. She turned her head so she could see the tv. "this show always makes me hungry…"

Tara intended to go check on Jenna but upon poking her head in she saw she was in good hands with Piney and was a little jealous of the silent closeness the two shared she never had that with her parents.

Later after they had lost Cameron again. That's how Jax found his wife asleep in Piney's lap. Piney asleep with his glasses on and Harley Magazine open on his chest. He turned off the tv which was showing an infomercial for the _Magic Bullet Blender_. He tried to figure out the best way to move Jenna without waking either of them.

He tried to shift her and woke Piney.

"Careful took her forever to fall asleep…." He helped Jax gather her up into his arms.

"She's like a five foot seven rag doll…" Jax remarked smiling. Jax reached the door. "Jax, you'll find him. Miracles do happen she came home."

* * *

**AN: Ok so I got requests for an update this is all I can give y'all for now until I know where Kurt Sutter will take things! Once again I own nothing but Jenna hope you liked it please review! -Meg**


	3. Chapter 3

Ok Ladies, just a few notes for you,

First and most important I need a beta if any of you are intrested I will need grammar and general help just to keep the story feeling organic and grounded. So if any of you would like to help please PM me.

Second the premire date is september 7 and I plan to have at least one chapter out a week and lucky for you guys most of the big chunks have been prewritten so hopefullly no extra long waits unless Kurt throws in something I really don't expect and have to follow…Abel kidnapping being the perfect example of that!

Thirdly,each chapter/ "Episode." Will have its own title and possibly music. I do have a kind of music mantra for Jax & for Jenna this time around, Jax's top of the world by the dixie chicks (Do not take this one to literal it will require some thinking outside the box)

Jenna's is Nemesis by david gray. Go give them a listen on youtube and maybe you can figure out where I'm going with this one then again maybe not!

Lastly there are some one shots to tide you guys over on my profile…if you don't want spoilers about the baby don't read the ones referencing the future I wrote you guys a guide on my profile!

That's all thanks for letting me ramble!

Meg


	4. Episode 1 These Hard Times

**AN: Let me first say thank you for sticking with me I hope you like it I'm going to be stretching time past what Kurt has the season set in so that "Baby Teller" will be born by finale. Jenna is currently four months along. Which means its been three months since the close of EK. There are saga fics posted on my profile if you don't want to know the sex of the baby don't read the future fics. I've also made a soundtrack and a new visual aid notify me via pm if you want the soundtrack. I now know opie's kids names but for continuity sake they are still trey and paige. If I'm wrong and piper was not shot I'll go back and fix it I own nothing but Jenna and her fetus. I've twisted and added some things to fit my story as you all know so don't sue me! That's all I think-Meghan**

* * *

Bikes were lined up outside her house. It was a bad sign. She looked through the peephole and there stood her brother and daddy no way in hell was she opening the door.

"Mama Daddy's home." Arizona opened the door blonde curls bouncing. One look at Opie and she knew. He was dead.

"No, no, no, no. he promised…no…he swore… his kissed me and said see you later…" Opie went to hug her. "No, don't touch me…don't…don't look at me…" Tears blurred her vision. Piney knelt down holding her. "A Mayan gunned him down baby I'm sorry." "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The scream that ended in sobs scared the kids. Arie hiding behind Opie. "No daddy… he promised…no… we're fated…no…"

She woke with a jolt. Tears on her cheeks and alone.

"Jax!" She called out. Getting no response residual fear taking over her heart started racing. "Jax!"she transferred into her chair rolling down the hall clad in nothing but a well worn SAMCRO t-shirt she absentmindedly thought by the way it fit that it was probably one of Opie's cast offs.

"Jackson!" She found him where she'd left him the night before, only now he was slumped sideways unconscious in the middle of Abel's bedroom floor. "Baby," she murmured more to herself than him. It had been a few more weeks and they had yet to find Abel, it was like Jax had regressed and given up retreating into himself again and had fallen deeply into the bottle.

She would not cry. She rolled into the kitchen to call her brother.

It rang twice before the warm timbre of his voice filled the line comforting her. "Hello,"

"Hey Bubba," She picked at the corner of the multi-colored place mats; she hated these they were ugly. "You been cryin' Jenny?"

"Just a bad dream, Jax passed out drunk again I can't get him up."

"On my way. What did you dream about?"

"Not important."

* * *

Jenna thought that her heart was done breaking but she was wrong, watching her brother literally pick up Jax cradling him as though he were nothing more than a world weary child and carrying him off broke her even more. Her kitchen was full of leather clad men but oh well; let the sweet butts pour coffee. She followed along behind them with tear filled eyes.

She leaned her head back on the wall to right of the bathroom doorway. Taking a deep breath she prayed. "Give me the answer, Give me a way out, and give me the faith Lord, to believe in these hard times, please Lord that's all I ask of you. Something to hold onto Amen." She opened her eyes just as the back of Opie's hand wiped away the tear trails on the left side of her face.

"He's showering, come on I bet there's some coffee with your name on it."

"No coffee remember preggo, Tara made me quit drinking it. Bitch!"

He started pushing her down the hall.

"You can't smoke or drink and pot is definitely out Jesus I bet you are ready to shoot somebody."

"Oh you have no idea, I can still have sex but it's not like Jax or I am interested in it just now so it might as well be out too."

'I'll make you some hot cocoa, it ain't sex but it's somethin'" She laughed, "Thanks Ope,"

"Not a problem, God's still listening you know?"

"You totally just channeled Ma!"

"I did?"

"Uh huh." She yawned the words out.

"Shit." Was Opie's reply.

* * *

Jax had muttered "We have a lead and they all scurried off she thought she was alone until she heard the toilet flush and her Dad wondered out. "I swear to God old man you clog the toilet and its fist city." He laughed, "Whatever you say baby." He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table with her. "So how's my girl… really?"

"Wan't the truth?" She sipped her drink then started into its chocolate depths. "Always." He replied.

"He's scaring me." She looked up into eyes that matched her own. "He's getting all quiet and withdrawn like when John died and all angry and destructive like when Tara left. We barely pulled him out of it both times Daddy, and you know It." her eyes filled with tears.

"We have to find him, Daddy we have to, or I'm going to lose him…" She sobbed. "And I can't Daddy, I just can't lose him. Please, you have to help me, help him because I can't reach him anymore."

"You are not going to lose any more people. You hear me Baby?" he kissed her forehead. She nodded. "We will find him you have to keep the faith because the boy can't find his. I have to arrange Half sac's viewing."

"You need help?"

"Nah, baby I got it. Go back to bed."

"Can't gotta give my statement to the feds. Not like I'll sleep anyways."

"You know…"

"Nothing but the bare minimum. I get it. I have done this shit before."

"Just sayin' Jenny." He held up his hands in supplication. "I know, sorry I'm just edgy I love you."

"Love you too baby." He got up and left lightly ruffling her hair on the way out.

* * *

"Listen Agent Bitch, I told you all I know. I heard Tara scream rolled into see Half sac gutted and a crazy man holding a knife to my goddamn son. I shot first and intended to ask questions later but he shot me before I could he drug me to the nursery left me to drown in my own fucking blood Tara was already tied up and he took my kid without a fucking word, anything else?"

Stahl reached over and turned off the tape recorder.

"I know that you know where Gemma Morrow is Mrs. Teller." The way she tossed out the words Mrs. Teller were snide and Hale flinched.

"No actually Miss Stahl, I don't I'm too concerned with finding my child just now to keep up with the whereabouts of my mother in law. You'd be wise to quit while you're ahead and leave my family be."

"Or what you'll have that over protective brother of yours rough me up?

"No, Ma'am." She smiled so sharp and feral it gave Hale goose bumps.

"I'll handle you myself. Dice you into pieces so tiny the boys can use you as party confetti."

"You just threatened me and in front of the sheriff not to smart Mrs. Teller."

Jennasis laughed. "Honey, if you think Sherriff Hale here would cuff me to anything besides a bedpost you are sadly mistaken. Seriously Darlin' don't fuck with me I'll make Gemma look like Aunt Bea if you put in the mind too." She unlocked her breaks and began to roll away, tossing "See ya Davey." Over her shoulder.

Jax walked into see Jenna dressed in a backless white top that that gathered in knots at her neck and waist and gray pants she was trying to fasten a special charm bracelet he knew she rarely wore.

"Here baby, Let me." He reached for her wrist and counted a new bullet casing end on the bracelet three new ones actually. The one with the diamond in the center was for Donna he knew because, he'd bought it.

"Donna, Sac, but Abel's not dead Jenna."

"That's for Luann babe. Don't worry I'm not giving up. You shouldn't either." He fastened it kissing the pulse point in her wrist. "I love you." Came his quiet rumbling whisper

"I know that." She grabbed his face with free hand kissing him firmly on the mouth.

"And I love you more. Ready to do this?" She leaned back to look at him.

"Yeah."

Jenna kissed her fingertips placing them on the casket "Thank You for your fine service to The Sons and this country my friend." She rolled away to leave Jax with his thoughts. Lyla came over and stood with her. "Think we should tell the doc it's weird to kneel in prayer before the casket?" laughter bubbled up and she could barely stop it. "Nah, girl's dealin' best she can."

She saw Jax and Clay conversing, it looked serious. "God I'm so tired Lyla."

"I know just hang in its all you can do girl."

Whatever Clay had said seemed to have some effect because, he felt different to Jenna as he tossed his arms around her shoulders and leaned down with something resembling a smile to talk to her as they walked out."So what are you makin' for dinner?"

At the sudden sound of gunfire she screamed. Jax threw himself over her people where shooting back and forth. "It's okay." Jax murmured to her.

Utter silence, and then chaos. Lyla was screaming "My baby!" repeatedly. She looked over to see piper shot. "Oh God!" Jax was looking her over. "I'm fine, I'm fine. You?"

"No holes. Shit." His curse drew her attention to across the street where Hale lay in a bloody heap. They both stood stunned a second. She was first to react "Harry! Daddy!" she shouted "Trey! Paige!" she had no idea where the rest of her family was. "Jen! I'm okay you?"

"Fine."

"I got the kids baby girl." Piney called from behind her. Jax ran into the street and was beating some guy senseless she didn't have time to care as she rushed to Lyla and Piper. "Tara! A little help!" she cried out to the doctors frozen form. "You're just going to let him-"

"He's alive Tara and I've got all I can handle Just now. Some dial nine one one. Lyla he's gonna be okay. Let the doctor look." She heard sirens and looked up just as Jax was being cuffed.

* * *

Jenna wanted to stay and hold vigil while they patched up Piper but, Opie sent her home with Dad and the kids

Dad was getting the kids ready for bed so now she went to the jail to check on Jax. He looked up as a deputy unlocked the door to his cell letting her in.

"Hey my Jenna."

"Hey my Jaxy. He stood, squatting down he gathered her to him. "So what's the damage?" he murmured into her hair. She felt him breathing, his cool skin beneath her cheek.

"Hale's dead. The doc is fixing Piper and your bail will most likely be revoked."

"God…"

"We'll figure it out. For now, can you hold me at least until my insides stop shaking?"

"Um hmm, "he tipped her chin up kissing her softly. "Sleeping without you will suck." She told him.

"Like wise baby, but tomorrow is another day."

"Let's hope its better." She whispered she couldn't see the pensive look on Jax's face but could feel it in the coiled tension of his body. It had to get better there was no way in hell it could get worse.

"Where's your shirt?"

"Blood got on it."

"I'll wash it." she had become her mother washing the blood of another man off the clothes of her husband.


	5. Episode 2 Timshel

**AN: I own nothing but Jenna and the baby. In cannon (The show) Piper was not shot but he was in my story I couldn't get the scene I wrote out of my head so I worked it into my story. My chap titles are different than the episode titles just so you know. The lyrics used in this chapter are Timshel by Mumford & Sons I do not own or have anything to do with them or the song. I do have one request listen to the song as you read I think it might add to the reading experience since that's how I wrote it. Defying Gravity comes from the broadway play Wicked. This chapter is rated M for explicit sexual content you have been warned! Please review it helps keep me inspired to know people are actually reading and enjoying! Thank you, you may read now!-Meg**

* * *

_Cold is the water It freezes your already cold mind Already cold, cold mind_

He comes home to wash the jail grit off before heading back out to troll for leads and he finds her getting dressed in all black, black pants black tube top.

"Where are you going? He asks as she slips on a black blazer. Her brows quirk at him in the mirror as she slips in a ear ring. "To visit Don, and then to Hale's funeral." The way she says it brooks no argument and he realizes his tone might have been harsh just minutes before, he's edgy he can't help it he's not even really all that mad at her for going without discussing it with him, she's just his most common target as of late.

"No, none of us have time to go and I won't have you going alone."

She cuts her chair into a sharp turn and spears him a look that tells him she's real close to pissed off now. The bullet bracelet jangles as she scoops a fall of curly red hair from her eyes, it looks like fire against all that black, he reminds himself to focus.

"He was my friend, my whatever he was and I'm going no one in their right mind will shoot up two funerals one after the other I'll be fine Jax I'm a big girl, Keep me updated on Abel." she squeezes his hand for a second as she passes him, lets go and is out the door. He feels like something is happening to them he just doesn't know what it is.

He wonders briefly if being with Tara and her constant need to seek his shelter, his approval has made him forget that Jenna is just the opposite. She wants him but doesn't really need him for much.

-/-

_And death is at your doorstep And it will steal your innocence But it will not steal your substance But you are not alone in this And you are not alone in this As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand Hold your hand _

Juice has always liked Jenna from the first time he saw her bringing Piney lunch when he'd just started prospecting. Opie's reprimands of _"don't touch her."_ and _"she's not for you to play with ."_and Jax's looks of _"that belongs to me I'll rip you apart if you even think it."_ had put him off long ago but still he liked her and cared.

So when he sees her sitting at Donna's grave crying he's not sure why he starts talking he just does.

"Hey Jen," She looks over and blushes at being caught in a weak moment.

"Did Jax send you after me?" she slipped her aviators back down over eyes obscuring her gaze from him. "Uh, no why would he?"

"He worries its in his blood."

"I don't mean to intrude I just bring her flowers when I visit Kip."

"That's sweet Juice…Don't change that part of you ok."

"Wanna talk about it? You look like you could use a friend and I don't mind."

"I have nobody left Juice, Donna's dead Gemma's gone, Jax he blames me even though he says he doesn't there's this wall between us and its so thick and so tall I can't get rid of it and Opie is barely staying afloat I can't lay my shit on him. I have no friends."

"I'll be your friend Jen. No strings, just friends."

"Friends huh?" She cut her shielded eyes at him speculatively.

"Yup,"

"Men never wanna be just my friend."

"They've obviously never met your husband." he stood smirking head tilted toward her. Hands stuffed in his pockets.

"Ha! You are funny Juice I'd forgotten it." he blushed slightly at the compliment.

"You come here often?"

Jenna laughed for real. "I know you didn't mean it as a come on but damn it was funny."

"Yeah I do. See there's this club the dead bestfriends club you can't be in in it until you're in it, there are no dues and it's a sucky ass club. Welcome." She answered.

"Come on girl, in the interest of our budding friendship I'll go with you to Hale's funeral."

"Budding friendship? You are so full of shit …ok lets go." She snickered.

"By the way that slimy fuck Jacob Hale skeeves me the fuck out so…"

" I got ya Jen, how'd you deal when dating Hale if you were skeeved out by his brother?"

"Even Dave was skeeved out by Jacob. He never left me alone with him for more than five minutes."

-/-

It was a quiet graveside service which surprised Juice what surprised him even more was Jennasis crying silently. She might act like she didn't care but upon closer inspection her true colors showed.

He didn't really understand it but didn't say that. Jennasis rolled forward kissing Hale's mother on the cheek. She placed a white box in Jennasis' hands and whispered something that appeared to choke the redhead up.

-/-

Jax came home to check in , hearing noise in the kitchen he headed that way but a squat white box sitting on the coffee table caught his eye. He walked over picked it up and opened it. A folded white note and brassy gold star cuff links lay inside.

He unfolded the note.

_Jenny,_

_If you have received this it means I'll have failed to protect you as I wanted. I leave that now in someone else's hands and trust me when I say where ever I am now, I'm not happy about it. Know that any time I pushed you be something you weren't or tried to hard to be something I wasn't it was simply because I loved you. Even if it was not returned. I can only hope that Jax's love for you is as true as he says it is and that he'll refuse to take you down with him when it all crumbles…_

_All my love,_

_Hale _

_p.s. the cuff links are yours because I could never put them on with out your help._

He carries the package into the kitchen where Jenna was making lunch for Trey and Paige.

"What's this?" he asked nodded down into his hands.

"What Hale left me. Why do you care? Peanut butter and Jelly Treyface? Or ham and cheese?"

"Pbj please Aunt Jenny."

"So things with abel?" Jenna asked raising her eyebrows at Jax. She knew something was up.

"We're meeting with the Irish in a bit."

"Are you angry with me Jax?"

"Yes, No, I don't know why do you even have this?" he held up the box.

"Dave wanted me to have them Jax, its just cuff links." she muttered the last bit.

"No its not."

"I'm not doing this in front of them."

"Fine then lets go to the bedroom."

"Fine, Paige finish fixing lunch while I watch your Uncle finish his little tantrum." Jax grabbed her arm to propel her forward and Jenna hissed at the tightness of his grip.

"Uncle Jax!" Paige admonished. Not bothering to look fearful, he promptly let Jenna go as if he'd been burned. "I'm sorry baby." he said genuinely shocked at his own actions. He fled to the bedroom.

"What the hell was that Jackson Teller?" he looked over to find her with her shoulder leaned on the door frame.

"Jenna I would never, I don't know what came over me."

"I know that which is why I wanna know what the fuck it was? You didn't hurt me, not really just scared me, shocked me."

"He's right you know." she rolled forward so close that their knees were touching. "About?"

"If I really loved you I'd leave you alone, not be so damn insistent on taking you into the rings of hell with me."

"If I go down with you its no one's fault but my own Jax I know who I am and if I wanted to be anyone or anywhere else I would be."

"Maybe you should have stayed gone." she slapped him. The sound ringing around the room.

"You fucking coward." She grabbed his cut pulling him forward she kissed him. "Feel that?" she raised her eyebrows at him her jaw clenched. He looked down avoiding her eyes. "Don't do that! Don't look anywhere but at me because I happen to see to much of who you really are. Don't do that to me I deserve more than that." he finally looked at her. "I said do you feel that? When I kiss you do you feel what I feel, that thing between us?"

"You know I do." rumbled out from him quietly.

"Then stop running form me Jax. That's all I want is for you to let me make my own choices I want to be here I want you , just believe me when I say it. Let me in please, can you just reach for me first and not a bottle or the boys. I'm not Tara did you forget that? I'm not bailing, or going anywhere."

"I'm sorry Jenna."

"Don't be sorry, just trust me.

" You got it." he wrapped an arm around her shoulders pulling her to him, he kissed her. "Hey Uncle Jax, I can't get the pickle jar open!" Trey shouted. "I swear he has cock block radar." he muttered to Jenna.

"Why do you need pickles on your sandwich?" Jax shouted back.

"Not on it! On the side."

"Go help him with his pickle problem, I'm gonna change. Ride with me to the hospital?"

"You bet."

He came back to see her dressed in a purple tank top and jeans bare foot. Sitting in front of the standing mirror that belonged to her grandmother, holding her shirt up. "What are you doing?" he asked coming to stand behind her leaning his forearms on the handle bars of her chair. "Trying to decide if I look pregnant yet or just fat. I'm going with fat." she sucked in her stomach then exhaled.

He kissed her shoulder. "You're beautiful, quit suckin' the baby in it can't be good for it."

"You do know your stomach and your uterus are in two completely different places right?"

"Never really thought about it since I don't have one." wrapped his hand in her hair he pulled her head back kissing her hard and aggressive his tongue sliding into her mouth more forcefully than usual.

"You are startin' something we don't have time for." she smiled against his lips, her teeth catching the bottom one to tease . "Damn, I like you." she sniggered cutely at that. "Later I promise, god do I promise." his voice deep and gravelly. he cleared his throat, "Put your shoes on we're ridin' the bike I'll have the prospect bring your truck and chair. I got Nita to watch the kids so stay as late as you like with Lyla."

All the boys came pouring out of the club house. "Well what do we have here?" Bobby asked.

"Eh, some chick who wanted to feel the power between her legs." Jax teased. "Jackson you pervert." she shoved at him. "Hi Bobby Elvis." she added. "Hey Darlin'" he returned.

Opie turned back around went into the club and came out with Jenna's helmet.

"Helmet Jackass." he directed at her, holding out the head gear. " Just forgot it here and Jax drove real slow. She snapped the helmet on as Opie held up his phone. "Smile you two."

"Why?" Jax asked.

"To replace the one she burned. I'll email it to you Juice taught me how." he snapped the picture.

"You burned pictures of me?"

"Not now baby."

"No like voodoo type burned? or just you pissed me the fuck off type burned?"

"Like I was trying to move on and it didn't work type burned…now all that power you were talking about? Show me." she grinned.

"Ugh gross." Opie whined.

-/-

_And you are the mother The mother of your baby child The one to whom you gave life And you have your choices And these are what make man great His ladder to the stars But you are not alone in this And you are not alone in this As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand Hold your hand _

Jenna wheeled quietly into the room. Lyla was curled into an uncomfortable looking chair. Looking intently at nothing.

"Hey Ly." She whispered so Piper wouldn't wake. Lyla started slightly. "Oh Hey Jen."

"How is he?" Lyla stood to stretch. "Went through his shoulder, two blood transfusions but doc says he'll make a full recovery."

"Good, how you holdin' up?"

"How do you do this Jen? You live in a constant state of chaos, I'm not sure I can do it."

Jenna chewed the inside of her cheek in thought. "Its hard, I won't say it not because it certainly is but, at the same time its all I know. Jax is all I ever needed wanted or loved. The sons take family seriously, and would never knowingly put one of those family members in danger. We are a loyal bunch but, there is not a single person in this world that I trust more than I do Opie, and that includes Jax. I'm biased I know that but let me give you this to think about. Harry is the real mcoy. He doesn't lie and Jax and all the other guys would deny it but he's their moral compass. He thinks before he acts and he loves incredibly deep. Do you really wanna give that up Lyla?"

"Wow, you really love him do you know how rare that is?"

Jenna smiled. "He and Jax are neck and neck."

Just then Opie and Jax entered the room. Jenna held her finger to her lips to silence them.

"Where your ears burnin' Bub?"

"Why?"

"I was saying nice things bout ya." she smiled as Lyla pulled him aside. Jenna looked up at Jax. "You're making the 'uh oh' face what is it?"

"Tell you when I know more." he kissed her. "Ready man?"

"Yup." he kissed Lyla reaching into his cut pocket he pulled out a package of cookies. "Think fast red!" He tossed them to Jenna. She nipped them out of the air easily. "From Juice he said they were friendship cookies whatever that means."

"There is something wrong with that kid." Jax muttered.

"Love y'all." Jenna said with a chuckle.

"Back at ya kid." Opie said walking out. "Love you back babe." Jax smirked at her sexily and left.

-/-

_And I will tell the night Whisper, "Lose your sight" But I can't move the mountains for you_

Jax ran in shouting , "Jenna! Jenny! Where are you? We found Abel!" he turned into the living room. Seeing Piney in the kids in his living room he asked, "Where is she?"

" Showering. I'm real glad you found your boy but, you touch her again and I'll shoot you I don't care if you are John Teller's child. She's my child. You got that?"

"Yes Piney, I-"

"I don't care to hear excuses."

"Yes sir."

"What you did you do?" Opie said stonily. His face a storm of anger.

"Lost my temper and grabbed her I let go as soon I-"

"Shut up." he strode for the bathroom. He ripped the door open.

"Something has changed within in me something is-" Jenna sang.

"Show me where he grabbed you." Opie commanded. Jenna open her eyes with a squeal.

"I'm naked Harry!"

"Nothing I haven't seen already." he tossed her a towel "Now fucking show me!" she held her right arm out to him. He could make out a very faint bruise on the upper portion of her arm. "Opie its not he didn't-"

"Hush you hear me?"

"Yes." she replied just as Jax was entering the room he whirled and slammed Jax into the wall.

"You've hurt her , made her cry, and you've used her for your own advancement and as a general handy lay and I've put up with it because I love you almost as much as I do her, she's a big girl and will make her own way in the world, but you laying your hands on her in any physical way I will not tolerate, any man who hits grabs or just generally intimidates their woman are spineless, gutless, weak, cowards, who deserve to be shot. You do anything that is even remotely close to that again and I swear on the souls of my children I will end you and you will beg for death. Are we clear Jackson?"

"Yes," Opie let him go and turned and left when the front door slammed shut Jax exhaled. "Jesus Christ."

"I'm sorry, I'm guessing Paige told Daddy."

"Not your fault I did it."

"I shouldn't have slapped you." Jax started removing his boots. "You're a slapper. I've accepted it truth be told I kinda like it. "Abel's alive. Cameron took him to Canada." her head snapped up from adjusting the water. She looked up at him wanting to cry from sheer joy but she choked on the sob and burst out laughing because he stood before her naked as the day he was born grinning at her like a mad man. "So now, we know he's okay and have a reference point to work off of…" he stepped into the shower. And took the shower sprayer from her fixing it so that it kept them warm without hitting them in the face. "Thank god he's okay."

"Yeah, most definitely. I can breathe a bit easier now, what were you singing when your me time was so rudely interrupted?" he turned and leaned in to kiss her. "Defying Gravity."

"You certainly defy something explanation maybe," the softness of the way he was looking at her made her heart lodge in her throat. She swallowed past the lump of emotion to tease. "So, what is this celebratory nookie?"

He kissed her and smirked. "I'm keeping my promise." he kissed her deeper. He moved lower trailing kisses down the column of her throat. Catching stray water droplets on his tongue as they trail down her body. She exhales shakily. He fights the urge to chuckle, she's a little lost in things just now. His mouth closes over her nipple and he's rewarded with an "Oh,'

"Stay with me up there." he mumbles moving lower following another droplet over the ridge of her sternum through the crease down her abdomen, he shifts her to the edge of her seat.

"You might wanna hang on to something." he smirks at the lambent blissful look on her face. Taking her hands from where they were tangled in his hair he kissed her palms before wrapping them around the handles of the shower chair she whimpers at even that slight lost of contact. He leans up to kiss her again, she tries to take control be kissing him fervently. He notes in that moment she always tastes the same, here in this he knows he's home.

"We're going slow Jenna."

"But I like touching you."

"You'll get your turn I promise, just give me the time and let me, please?" he's kneeling between her legs now and there is something in his eyes she can't define. "What is it Jax? What's wrong?"

"Not a single thing Jenna I just want to be with you. Now shut up you are killing the mood." she laughed as he shoved her lightly to lounge back in the seat. He kisses the upper part of the inside of her thigh, where he knows she still has feeling. And is given a contented sigh.

The bristly yet softness of his facial hair is abraiding the inside of her thigh. His tongue making tentative contact with her clit makes her inhale in a sharp choked manner the sound filling the tiny space. His licks becoming firm and insistent "Huh-ah-ah- please Jax." two fingers shoved into her harshly. She groaned sharply.

"Two hard?" he croaked out. "No, God no," he ducked back down keeping his eyes on her still. He stroked and licked her into an orgasm, he watched her become completely untied. Arching up toward him , the muscles in her arms flexing knuckles white, mouth open on a slight scream of pleasure, water clinging the tips of her long dark lashes, hair falling wetly along one shoulder.

"So fucking pretty," he murmured as she went lax concerned only with drawing in air. "Jesus, you're good." she told him.

"Thank you," he half smiled. "Gimmie a minute and I'll-"

"Nope, don't want you to." he picked her up pressing her into the shower wall pushing into her body. "Right there is where I want to be." He raised his eyebrows at her smirking.

"Cocky bastard,"

"You know it Darlin'." he withdrew and pushed in to the hilt. He set a slow deep pace, she clings to him trying to take in everything. She kissed him, tasting whiskey, coffee and hint of pot.

"You took a charge of some sweet butt I'm gonna be pissed."

He laughed lowly. "No charging, just took a hit off bobby's joint." he nipped at her ear lobe groaning as he buried himself deeper. She ran her hands along the span of his back. Her nails digging in as her orgasm built. "God,"

"Jenna." Her name came out in a strained murmur.

She inhaled. "I'm with you." his measured strokes kept her pressed into the cool wall. "Jax I'm going to come." he picked up his pace. She tightened around him, crying his name in a high pitch he felt his orgasm tingling in the base of his spine. He came "AHHHHHH! Christ, pretty good yourself babe. My knees feel like jello."

"Do not drop me." she teased.

-/-

Jax crawled into bed. Jenna curled around him. She leaned up to kiss him. "So, the Uh oh face from earlier?"

"Mayans are trying to push in on our territory."

"Ninety two…" Jenna whispered

"How much do you remember?" he asked.

"Enough, diving under a table with Ope when someone tried to add bullets to our breakfast cereal certainly stuck, Turf wars, life of an old lady is never boring."

"Trying to avoid a war."

"Won't be able to forever."

"I know."

"Can I call Gemma tomorrow?"

"Yes, just don't tell her about Abel."

"I wasn't going too. When do you leave for Vancouver?"

"Hopefully by first light." he kissed her forehead. She made a hiccuppy sound and he realized she was crying. "What baby?"

"I'm just really glad he's ok. Ignore me I cry at everything."

"Its ok…" he chuckled turning off the lamp. He lay quietly for a few minutes.

"Why is Juice giving you friendship cookies? That's been bugging me all day."

"We're friends now." Jax huffed out his breath.

"if you think I'd do him you've inhaled too much bike exhaust." she snickered. "Goodnight my love."

"Goodnight Jenna."


	6. Episode 3 Coverage

Just as Jax was sitting down for church his phone buzzed notifying him of a text message.

Clay shot him a dirty look. "My wife who happens to be five months pregnant and it's a high risk pregnancy I'll add just for the hell of it I sure as hell ain't turning my phone off and putting it in the damn cigar box so get over it." he squelched the urge to roll his eyes childishly

"Well might as well see what Miss Jennasis I. Winston-Teller has to say for herself." Clay grumbled as Jax flipped his phone open.

*Hey baby, where are you?*

*Church, you ok?* he texted back

*Sorry didn't know I'm fine going to breakfast with Mama since they rescheduled my doctors appointment, Tara texted me that she went to help your mom what's up with that and her taking a leave? Surprise Surprise I like her better than "Dr. I smirk while lookin' at your crotch…I'll be in to work in a bit no yellin' at me can I do paperwork! I love you! Tell Ope, I say Hey fucktard. Bye*

Jax laughed, "She's not going to the doctor alone again," he looked over at Opie smirking "She says hey fucktard."

"Man I feel loved."

"She ok?" Piney asked.

"Fine Piney gonna have breakfast with Ann then she'll be in the office."

-/-

Jenna sat in the office doing paper work singing along with her Ipod. "We got married in a fever hotter than-" when she heard someone approaching, she looked up to see her brother striding toward her. She pulled out ear buds, cocking her head to look him over.

"Uh oh, better stop with your serial killer face that shit is scary!"

"Damn it Jen!" He stood hands on hips scowling at her.

"Oh-kay wrong time to tease I get it… what's wrong?"

"Chinese will give us the guns and money in exchange for a chink porn party. Knowing Lyla she's gonna wanna help."

"So."

"So? Jen, really just so?" He threw up his hands.

"Yeah so Ope girl makes her way in the world on her back you knew that goin in."

"You aren't helping!" the scowl had morphed into a full on glare.

"Why because I'm telling you the truth! The girl doesn't view sex the way you and I do. Its nothing but a pay check and a fake orgasm, she ain't Donna and she never will be and you are starting to figure that out aren't you? Believe me I get it! I get needing to fuck your way outta the pain, Been there done that even got the t-shirt the tag says Sunshine." a soft smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

He laughed. "But ya gotta let her go bud." A little sob broke from somewhere in his chest and it caused tears to form in her eyes. "Let her go, and stop comparing Lyla to her if you don't you'll be alone for a long, long time."

He leaned over the desk and kissed the top of her head.

"How the hell you get so smart…"

"Your life sucks long enough you start to learn from the suckage."

-/-

Before they took off to Lin's she rolled out to them bye. She caught Juice as he walked by.

"Hey you Mohawk boy…"

"Mohawk boy that's all ya got?"

"Pregnancy turns my brain to pudding, cut me a little slack." she grabbed his cut pulling him down she whispered in his ear "Tell me if the VD on legs decides to push up on Jaxy Kay?"

He nodded. "Thank ya Juicy fruit…" she kissed his cheek

"Ha! Lil better Mama."

"Don't call her Mama…" Jax said dryly as he walked by. She rolled over in between Jax and Bobby's bikes. Clay whistled and the boys clapped as Opie and Lyla kissed. "My lunch doesn't stay down enough as it Ope, Spare me." Jennasis called out.

"You guys work shit out?" Jax asked.

"I guess, Shit I don't know every time I try we end up naked."

"Most men wouldn't complain…Jax doesn't" Jenna's eyebrows raised and she gave them a laughing smile.

"Hey we know how to fight and then make up." Jax defended his relationship skills.

"Marry her it'll stop." Bobby Pointed out.

"Kiss me bye Handsome." Jenna smirked at Jax.

"No you got Juice Cooties, I saw."

"Cooties? What are you like five now?"

"Well no, you really think I'm going to pass up kissing you?" He grabbed her chin and kissed her softly. "See ya my Jenna." he snapped on his helmet.

"See ya my Jaxy, Call me?"

"You bet."

She watched as they all rolled off. "Be Careful" She shouted not sure if they'd heard her or not.

-/-

Jenna was surfing the web for baby stuff when she received Jax's call.

"Hey baby, What ya doin?" he asked.

"Surfing the net for baby stuff we need a boy name by the way."

"I know…"

"So, What's the drama with your grandfather?"

"Nate got confused thought Tig was an intruder and shot him in the shoulder he's fine."

Jenna smirked, "Aw, poor Tiggy."

"Yeah I'm gonna take Ma and Tara with me up north."

"Tara Jax really?"

"Not like that babe, I can't bring her back and draw attention to Ma in Charming."

"Yeah… Your gonna jump aren't ya."

"Have to Darlin' no choice, not like it will matter anyway Jacob Hale's trying to use the drive by to get the bond revoked…"

"Fuck, when it rains it pours huh baby?" Jenna murmured.

"Yeah…Miss you today."

"Jax you ok?"

"Fine."

"How's Ope dealin' with the poon tang party?"

"Hasn't punched anyone yet."

"Give him time,"

"Stop smirking woman I can hear it." he smiled

She laughed. "Hey can you ask Lyla what the website for the crib she showed me is?"

"Well I would but I'm outside and She's probably busy blowin' some gnome sized china man named Ting Tang."

"Walla walla bing bang," she replied. He laughed. "I love your crazy ass … You know?"

"I know."

"See you at home."

"Yep, I'll be here and Jackson,"

"Huh?"

"I love you. Be safe."

"You bet baby bye."

"Bye."

No sooner than she'd hung up with Jax. Juice was texting her.

* I'm in heaven Jenny, heaven I tell you."

*LOL Alright then. The leper with fake tits Touching my husband yet?*

* He manages to get any further away from her and he'll be on mars.*

*You probably could totally care less but I want ice cream…*

* Bring you some and watch Grey's tomorrow, you and Jax seem a lil better. Crap!"

*Crap? What Crap? Don't crap at me and then leave its mean, and bad for me! I am PREGNANT!*

* Sorry back, we hit a few chinks but is all good.*

-/-

Jax walked into find Jenna asleep in their bed. Curled around a pillow. He toes off his boots and walks around to Jenna's side of the bed. Moving the hair from her face he looks down at her. Thinking of that split second when he leaned into Ima's flirtation and invitation in her eyes. For once he was grateful for Juice's poor timing. Brushing his thumb along her cheek bone he smiled as her eyes slowly opened. "Hey."

"Hey sleepyhead."

"Something is wrong I see it in your eyes."

"Cameron's body was found on the street in Belfast."

"So what does that mean for Abel?"

"I don't know Jenna."

**AN: Sorry its so short and is mostly filler but until Abel is found its going to be hard to fit Jenna into the story believably. I own nothing but Jenna, the unborn Teller & my words… R&R Thanks, Meg**


	7. Episode 4 A Stitch

Jax moved around the kitchen fixing his tea. He'd gotten rid of coffee to make Jenna stop drinking it. He can hear her humming some tune he doesn't recognize as she dresses.

It's funny how keenly he can feel her looking at him as he sips his tea. Looking at the pictures laid on the table. "Baby, I hate to break it to you but no matter how hard you stare at it Abey baby ain't gonna appear."

"I know I just…"

"Need to feel close to him. I know that." she reached over him to grab his mug sipping the tea. "Needs red hots," she stated.

"Some weird pregnant girl thing?" he smirked. "No, just a Jenna thing." he reached out touching her belly. The backs of his fingers skating down the rounded bump. "You're starting to show, I kinda like it."

She smiled softly, before her brows furrowed he looked over and was caught by her beauty for a moment.

She wore a short sleeved v-neck baby doll dress with a green polka dot top the shirt was a green, black, and white floral print skirt. It was feminine without being to girly, it was he decided very Jenna. She wore only mascara, eyeliner and pink lip gloss. Her hair was fishtail braided down her left shoulder, her bangs stick straight and fringy.

"You look pretty today Jenna, all barefoot and preggers in my kitchen."

The statement didn't make her laugh as he'd hoped. " What is it?" he said with a tired sigh.

"I don't wanna fight with you."

"So, don't."

"But I'm really uncomfortable with Tara going up to Canada with you, It's just I'm your wife and I feel like she doesn't really respect me or your choices, and I… Well I'd just rather she came back to Charming."

"You are being insecure." he stated quietly.

"Maybe so but I have my reasons, its Tara and we've always competed for your heart…I just need to feel that I've got nothing to worry about and it would help if she didn't love sick puppy it all the way to Canada with you."

"You aren't competing for anything, much less my heart its always been yours… but I'll talk to her send her back here if that's what you want."

"Thank you for that and for lying so well, but I know she got to you first."

"But you kept me. You are the only one whose ever been, mine completely."

He kissed her chastely. "Now, grab what ever it is you can eat these days and lets roll out."

She gave him a snappy salute. "Yessir."

He smirked. "Can you do that when I ask you to do dirty shit in bed?"

"There is something seriously perverse about you Jackson. Help me find my flip flops?"

"By the couch."

-/-

Jenna was hugging Piney when she heard Jax shout. "Where's my fuckin' kid?" then the force with which he punched the van panel repeatedly screaming made her flinch in Piney's arms.

"Liam O'neil swears he never made it to Ireland with Cameron."

Jenna rolled forward and grabbed his hands looking them over for a few seconds before he jerked himself away. "I'm fine. Leave me alone."

Jenna's jaw ticked in anger. "Do not take aim at me when I'm not at fault."

"Whatever Jenna." she rolled off movements jerky in her anger. Her screams of frustration echoed around them She picked up a empty bike gas tank and flung it at the shop wall.

Piney went after her. "Pumpkin,"

"I'm frustrated, tired, angry, emotional, I just want my kid back, that's all…"

"I know just hang on a little longer we're close baby,"

She nodded in answer "I'll come back to the group I just need a minute to breathe…"

"Okay." he said and walked away. As he walked away Sunshine walked over, he had joined the nomad charter and was currently in Charming.

"Hey songbird, bad day?"

"You could say that."

"If it helps any you look great."

-/-

"Looks like Sunny Boy is busy chattin' up baby sister." Opie nodded back at them in a telling gesture to Jax.

"Wish his pretty boy ass would go crawl back under his rock in Texas." Jax replied as he watched Jenna nod and smile at the other man before rolling off toward her truck. "Hey beautiful," he called to catch her attention she kept right on moving.

"Jennasis come here," he said firmly. Then thought better of it and added "Please." quietly.

"What do you want Jax." she asked not looking up from the purse she hefted from the truck and was currently rifling through slamming the car door shut with her free hand. She rolled over beside him but didn't touch him.

"Sorry."

"I know you are. We're both starting to fray at the edges. Maybe its better we just leave each other be."

"I don't want that and neither do you." cupping her chin his palm her leaned forward and kissed her. He backed off a little to catch her eye. "You are the one I take it out on because I know you'll never leave. Not fair or right but that's the truth." tears sprang to her eyes and he felt like scum making his pregnant wife cry. "Sometimes I wish you'd pick a new target." she sniffed back her tears and hugged him just as Opie handed him an envelope. "ten thousand for the tracker, sold the panhead."

"Now I really will cry, I'd of sold the Indian Ope, not like I'll ever ride it."

"You're not selling the 55 its our project." he said as Jax pulled him for a hug. "Thank you Man." "Not a problem, you look exceptionally girlish today sis." he teased.

"What are you lookin for in that bottomless pit you call a purse anyway?"

"My peanut butter spoon. No laughing at my preparedness."

"So, We keep our plan… you guys drop off the guns and do the med pick up Clay and I will go get Ma and Tara. What you doin' Babe?" he asked glancing at Jenna" thought I'd ride with Dad."

"Alright but stay in the car and duck down if you see cops."

"Wasn't born yesterday gorgeous."

-/-

Jax watched as Jenna sat in the van eating peanut butter straight from the jar, "That's all kinds of disgusting baby,"

"Shut up its protein and it stays down." he leaned into the window and kissed her goodbye. "Anything hinky goes down you duck."

Jenna laughed. "You know how to use the word hinky that made my day, and we're SOA everything is hinky babe."

"No patrone with bendy straws old man, my wife and spawn are with you ." Jax called to Piney.

"She's my child asshole, don't need your input." Piney grumbled.

-/-

Jax had told Tara everything he was going too. He was bringing the final box down for her.

"I want to go with you to Canada." She said.

"No," He said plainly.

"You need me I'm the only one who's not wanted."

"No, go back to work!"

"He's Mine too!"

"He's hers! " He shouted "I'm married! We're not your family don't you get that?"

"Oh yes, lets not forget precious perfect Jenna." Tara said spitefully.

"She was right!" he said through gritted teeth

"What did your old lady have to say?" she remarked snidely.

"Nothing besides the fact that you don't respect her or my choice, you wanna know one of the reasons I chose her because unlike you she knows when to shut the hell up and do as she's told, like a good ol' lady."

"Please as if that snotty bitch does anything but what she wants…."

"Shut up Tara you don't know shit about Jen, you're the one whose always been to fucking high and mighty to get to know her… why's that huh? Maybe because she's the one thing you've always wanted but could never be, and that's truly mine."

-/-

They pulled up to Honey's house, Bobby called Piney's attention to the guys in the bushes. "Yeah, I see em'"

He looked over at Jenna. "I'm scooting, Jesus bossy ass people." Jenna scrunched down her seat.

She was watching a hummingbird flutter around one of Honey's bird feeders. when gun fire broke out as she was ducking as far down as she could she saw that the outside guys had Juice and Opie pinned down on the front porch. She pulled out her cell to call Jax hoping her on service bar would hold out.

-/-

"You did What?" Jax asked.

"It was self defense she attacked your mother, Tig helped get rid of the body." Just as clay was coming down the stairs, Jax phone rang out the Halo Walking On Sunshine Glee mash up that apparently was Jenna's ring tone. Normally he would find her switching it to something so left field funny but not today.

"What? I'm kinda busy!"

"So am I dodgin' bullets so fuckin bite me or help!"

"What baby?"

"I can't look up Jax but I hear lots of bullets pinging off things."

"Where are you?"

"The van…Daddy, Bobby and Hap are inside with the drug peddler and Juice Ope, are pinned on the porch…"

"On my way! Don't move!"

"Like Imma go for a pee break now!"

"Yeah right sorry I yelled at you. Hey, love you."

"Love you too hurry."

"What I miss?" Clay asked. Before adding "Piney needs our help."

"Our lovely ladies here whacked the care taker. And this idiot." he gestured to Tig. "Helped them, douche bag." he added as passed him "I have a wife and brothers to go save don't have time for this shit."

"Actually I just made a phone call." Tig defended.

-/-

Jenna heard the boys pull up and sat up a little. She could see the cranker was heavily out numbered but also had a shot gun to her dad's head. "Drop your guns or I blow grandpa's head off."

"Your call hillbilly I got all day and your out numbered drop the shot gun and you'll live."

Jenna sat up fully. "Can I blow a hole in the living basis for deliverance?" she shouted. "NO! and Who said you could move?" Jax shouted back.

"Correction might live, if he can talk the crazy pregnant lady out of making you look like Swiss cheese." Clay said.

"It's a real sweet offer pumpkin but I got it." Piney said as he disarmed the guy. "Why are y'all doin this?" Hillbilly asked,

Piney knocked him out then spit at him. "Cause we're the good guys."

Once everything had calmed down Jax strode purposefully toward where she sat in the van. He grabbed her face and kissed her hard.

"I scare you?" she asked trying to ignore the sharp stitch in her side. "Yes."

Jenna and Opie watched Honey kiss Piney. Jenna looked to where her brother stood to her left leaning on the van. "That is just ugh…."

"You totally wanna yell not the mama at him don't you." Opie teased.

-/-

They rolled up to see Tara standing alone in the parking of the nursing home Jax and Clay talked to her before Tara tried to get on the bike with Jax. Jenna reached over and laid on the car horn. "Just like you don't touch another man's bike you don't ride bitch with a married man, Doc." She shouted.

"Love ya baby." Jax called back to her fighting amusement as Tara headed for the van.

"Where's Gem?" Jenna asked.

"Went to see Abel." Tara replied.

"Shit! God fuckin' Damnit!"

-/-

They rolled in just as Gemma turned and dropped her phone collapsing . Everyone scurried around Gemma.

"Someone tell me what's going on!" Jenna yelled as they loaded her into an ambulance. The stitch in her side was now blooming into a full on cramp."

"Looks like an arrhythmia sis!" Opie called back looking over as Jenna paled and tried to breath through the cramp.

"Jen!" he ran over "AD?" "Dunno, Opie…"

"Breathe… don't get scared ok…Tara, over here! She's… something is wrong…" Jax ran over he was about to get on his bike and follow the ambulance but backtracked snatching Tara by the arm and dragging over.

"Where's the pain?"

"Lower back, all through my stomach…" She breathed out. "Jax go with your Mom. I'm fine.""You don't look it, how fast can you drive Opie?" Tara said.

"I'm a regular Dale Earnhart."

"He died in a crash not reassuring Ope," Jenna joked. "Whoa, I think I pissed the fetus off it hurts." Jax got in the van sitting directly behind her Tara and Piney next to him. Opie set the van in gear looking to make sure all the doors were closed and he had a clear path he roared out of the lot.

Jax Just held his wife's hand and silently prayed for all the women he loved.

-/-

**AN: I own nothing but my characters, sorry for the late update ladies my life took over for a bit. I went to the texas state fair had a blastI I hope you liked it please review.-Meg**


	8. Episode 5 Dealin' With The Devil

**AN: I own nothing but Jenna, I switched some stuff around and took out Tara's announcement of her pregnancy for obvious reasons I left out Jax's scene with Stahl and reworked it hope you don't mind and please enjoy and review!-Meg**

**AN: The song referenced here is If I Needed You by Townes Van Zant**

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* * *

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Jax leaned on the door frame listening to Jenna and Piney. He hears the bedrail lower and turned slightly to see Piney climbing in to lay on the bed edge next to Jenna. "How's my girl?"

"Scared…"

"That baby is half you half Jax its going to be a tough little cookie."

"Tara says its stress cramping not labor… so I just need to stay calm and relaxed…as if that's possible in our world."

"How have you been sleeping?"

"Just so so Pop…" he hears the sheets rustle then silence. "Lets see if I can help ok, Well if I needed you would come to me and ease my pain ," Came Piney's quite baritone. "If you needed me I would come too you, I would swim the seas for to ease your pain…" Jax knew he should move or leave but couldn't make himself.

"I want to call mom for help this, is really hard and scary and I just…"

"You need your Mama baby, and that's fine…"

"She'll just say I'm getting what I asked for with Jax."

"Do me a favor, don't underestimate Annie."

"She always lets me down." She whispered.

"That's more about me than you Darlin'."

"She thinks I chose you over her when really I just chose Opie."

"I know…"

"How's Gemma?"

"Still running tests so we'll see."

"And Jax where's he?"

"Right here baby…" He acted as though he'd just gotten there and wasn't eavesdropping. Tara walked in. "Gemma's awake and asking for you two."

"Time to face the music baby." Jenna murmured to Jax.

"Help me into my chair?"

"Is it safe?" Jax directed at Tara. "Just keep her calm, keep both of them calm."

-/-

"This is on all of you," Gemma told them.

"We were just trying t protect you Ma."

"No you were trying to protect yourselves … What happened?"

" Cameron Hayes Killed sac and took Abel….we tracked him to Vancouver."

"He's not there he's in Belfast Maureen Ashby called me before my little episode…"

"Liam O'Neil said he watched Cameron get picked up and there was no sign of Abel."

"Well someone's full a shit then." Gemma replied

"We'll get you the number and you can call again." Clay said.

Agent Stahl interrupted them. "I need to speak to you alone…"

"Agent Bitch is back damn, I was hoping God did me a favor and struck ya dead, hm…. Maybe next time." Jenna said.

"No worries baby not much else she can do to me." Gemma rattled the cuff attached to the bed to make her point.

"Don't under estimate her she's been demoted she's desperate." Clay said sardonically.

"Um, still in the room." Stahl pointed out.

"Yeah we just wish you weren't." Jax added.

-/-

Jenna sat in the chapel listened as Jax had a very strongly worded conversation with some Irish chick. But she didn't comment, just ate the chocolate pudding cup Opie had swiped from the cafeteria for her.

"She wasn't there…told the girl to have her call us back."

"You weren't very gentlemanly there Jackson."

"Some bratty girl…I don't have time to be polite Darlin'."

Jenna nodded. "So we need money to head north." Opie said

"We can sell the pharmaceuticals…lumpy will take the roids, the chicken man will take the aderol, aids meds to the clinics." Juice said.

"So you are all going?" Jenna asked fiddling with her hospital gown.

"Looks that way sis."

"Ok I'm just trying to figure out where I belong in this, the equivalent of my mother is going to jail, my baby is missing and once you guys return with him it's the pokey for y'all too…and I just what? Have my baby all by myself …I know its terrible timing for a whine fest but I really really don't want to do this alone."

The room was silent. "Not one of you have anything to say to me…" Jax looked at the wall. "And you can't even look at me that's just fuckin' dandy thanks baby."

Opie walked over putting his arms around her from behind hugging her.

"Me and Pop will be here…"

"But your on parole going to Ireland is going to violate it."

"I won't get caught Jenny I promise…" he rested his chin on her shoulder.

"You're really going to come help me push a baby out my who-ha?" Jenna grinned. Looking him over.

" Lets not get graphic, but yes just don't ask me to look or anything."

"You two are not normal…" Juice said. "And you are? You tattooed the sides of your head man, Just for the record Jenna I'm going to try my hardest to be here for as much as I can." Jax told her.

"Sorry I'm being such a baby." She whispered.

"You have a human in your body you are allowed." Chibs told her.

-/-

"You asked for me?" Jenna inquired rolling into Gemma's room.

"How are you baby, really?"

"I'm fine." Jenna crossed he arms over her chest.

"I've had enough of people lying to me Jennasis Winston."

"I'm sorry. " she chewed her bottom lip.

"Don't be sorry be honest."

"Fine, I'm scared and angry and Jax and I are on shaky ground…and as it turns out I'm totally not okay with my whole family going to jail. Then I feel bad because I'm glad Ope was able to get away and Daddy was on his bender. That honest enough Gem? I was only doing what Jax asked where Abel was concerned," Gemma nodded.

"How's the Apple seed?"

"Hanging on for dear life."

Clay and Jax walked in. Jax stopped in front of Jenna cupping her left cheek he kissed her softly. "What was that for?"

"Because I haven't all day." the phone rang. "Belfast…" Jax murmured handing Gemma the Cell. "Hello, That was my boy my son I hear you've seen another one of our family members. What was he wearing? Is he safe?" Jax took the phone "Where is he?" Jenna saw hope and then fear In his eyes. He hung up "We need to get to Belfast and fast."

Jenna was just about to take a grateful breath when Stahl walked.

"Nice of you to wait for an invitation." Jenna muttered. "Don't need one sweet cakes, stay all of you you'll wanna hear this. As it turns out Gemma the DA is taking your deal off the table so that means you give up your boys or they give up you…I'm sorry."

"Sure you are get out." Jenna said. Gemma began crying when Stahl was gone. Jenna was struggling to breathe and Jax was silent. "Jenna." Jax murmured.

"Panic attack I'm fine."

Jax walked off. "Jackson?" Jenna called after him.

"When they release you have Sunshine drive you home, Tell him he flirts and he'll die ." and he walked off.

-/-

When Jax came home he found Jenna sitting in bed reading. He crawled into bed fully clothed cut and all and laid with his head on her belly.

"Hey Jaxy, What did you do?"

"Made a deal with the devil." she raised her eyebrows. "Told Stahl I'd give her Jimmy O and all his IRA connections if she cleared Ma pushed back our bail hearing and made the church assault go away. "Jackson, if they make you for a rat they'll kill you no matter how good your intentions."

"I deal with it if I have too right now I just want to fix my family. How's the unborn Teller?" he smiled up at her.

"Talk to it and find out for yourself…." she kissed him and he rolled over setting his weight on his elbows.

"The lady's with me now I showed her to lay her little hand in mine look and you'll agree she's a sight to see a treasure for the poor to find." he sang.

"She likes your voice you know…"

"Ya think?"

"I do, she keeps moving. You were eavesdropping on me and Daddy."

He shrugged. "I like the song. It could be a boy." she shook her head no. "My gut tells me it's a girl."

"Well I already have my boy a girl would be pretty cool."

"Just gotta go get him now." Jenna smiled.

"We need cash to do so."

"Well we know he's safe for now and so is everyone else we love so lets get some sleep and look at it fresh tomorrow. No sleeping in your cut. Shower and come to bed." Jenna commanded.

When he came to bed she was sound asleep. He could only toss and turn he was going after his boy come hell or high water he didn't care what it cost him.


	9. Ep 6: I Am Your Nemesis

**AN: First let me say thank you for all your lovely reviews so far… Emotion and storyline wise for Jax & Jenna this is a big chapter I already had the major arcs for this seasons story already planned out and mostly written, Kurt Sutter's story just gave me the opening I needed which was so very nice! Please don't hate me I have a plan I swear! As always I own nothing but Jenna, I twisted changed and moved some stuff around but everything recognizable belongs to Kurt Sutter! So don't sue me this is just for fun! Enjoy and please review!-Meg**

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* * *

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Jenna rolls into her silent kitchen to see Opie and Jax standing around looking uncomfortable as Paige sat staring at her hands placed on the kitchen table. "What did you do?" She directed at Opie. "She kinda caught Lyla and I..."

"Christ you idiot... go.. go outside or something." She mad shooing motions with her hands.

Opie slipped out she looked to Jax for help as he leaned on the bar. The look told her he'd been where Paige was and it wasn't easy. Jenna rolled up next to her. "Paige?" "She's not my mom and won't be..." The girl indignantly stared straight a head.

"I know..." Jennasis murmured. Jax came around the bar squatting next to them. He gently took Paige's chin in his hand and forced her to look at him.

"It does get better Paige I promise. It's always going to suck but it won't always hurt so bad." he said. "Do they have to be so obvious? It's like he's over her."

"He's not, Lyla only helps him hurt less Darlin'." Jenna ran a hand down the back of Jax's hair. At that point she was almost certain she'd never loved Jax more. "You're sure?" Paige asked.

"Yes Honey, I'm positive." Jax answered.

She nodded.

"Go get in the truck I'll take you and Trey to school."

"Thanks Uncle Jax at least you understand."

"Anytime Darlin." he kissed her forehead. Jenna watched Paige leave.

"You did good." "I've been there is all."

Jenna leaned over and kissed the top of Jax's head "Thank you."

"Opie lock the damn door from now on!" She shouted as she rolled past him to the truck.

* * *

Jenna and Lyla came into the club to see Kozik and Tig fighting.

"What I miss?" Jenna said taking a sip of her chocolate malt.

"What in the fuck?" Lyla murmured

"Welcome to life in SAMCRO baby girl. Obviously we prescribe to the theory that a little violence solves everything." She said taking Lyla by the arm and skirting around the fight. "Hey, babe What's this about?" Jenna asked once they'd reached Jax and Opie. "Kozik wants to join SAMCRO they are working out their differences."

"I got twenty on Tig fuckers mean he bites any takers?" Jenna called out.

"I'll take that bet Song bird." Sunshine sidled up next to her.

"It's your money to lose shit kicker." Jenna winked at him and Jax gritted his teeth.

"Nice to see some things never change no matter who you marry."

"You're only sayin' that because I never Welch on a bet Shiny."

"I was talkin' bout the nickname but I always did like that particular aspect of our relationship."

Jenna laughed. "Payment is strictly monetary from here on out."

A few minutes later Sunshine handed over his twenty.

* * *

"What was that?" Jax asked as they walked outside.

Jenna looked over at him confusion knitting her brow. "What was what? I got a doctor's appointment you coming with?"

"You flirting with the ken doll in a cut?"

"That wasn't flirting Jackson that was me fleecing Deacon outta twenty bucks."

"Deacon huh?" Jax murmured and she whipped around to face him.

"Jesus Jackson, Really? Yes, Deacon is his name. Do you realize you are making yourself seem about as mature as Trey right now? Are you comin' with me or not?"

"Yes, I'll go with you I need a source from Tara to pawn those scripts off on. The tracker won't refund us our cash its our only shot."

"Let me sell the Indian I don't trust her when it comes right down to it." she transferred into the truck closing the door.

"No you aren't selling it."

"Its not like the damn thing will ever get any use Jax. That part of who I am was put down along time ago."

"And its my fault lets not forget." he grunted out.

"What is your problem Jackson? Did I say it was your fault? Have I fucking ever? No, and I won't guess what Jax life sucks sometimes and we don't always get a vote! Deal with whatever it is that's eating at you and do it fast because I'm losing my patience and this time you aren't running me off!" she slammed the car into gear and sped off.

"What was that?" Opie asked.

"I let old demons bite me in the ass and it pissed her off."

* * *

Jenna found Jax talking to Tara in the empty neonatal waiting room.

"God, this place gives me willies I hope my baby is never here."

Tara smiled at her. "You'd be surprised how often we hear that. How's the Teller fetus?"

"Still in there…"

"Babe I completely-" Jax fumbled.

"Its fine she wasn't turned right so we still don't know if it is a girl. Everything else was fine. I'm going to go give your mom a copy of the sonogram."

"Jen, I'm sorry."

"You were busy obviously and she's fine." She rolled off.

"Sometimes I just can't win for losing with that woman."

"But that's never really bothered you now has it Jackson?" Tara smirked at him.

-/-

"What's that face mean baby?" Gemma asked. Sitting up in bed.

"I'm just not sure its ever going to get better Mom. Be good again?"

"It will. Just hang on to him. Hold on to the things that last baby, because lets face it not a lot does in our world, peace never lasts, blood will always be shed in the club's name even that's not really the reason, but love…" She smiled at her. "Like you and Jax have its rare and will outlast every other thing. You'll stand the test of time my girl, it won't be easy or even fair but you can do it just hang on."

"Feels like that's all I do."

"I know, keep doing it. What you got there?" she gestured to the paper in Jenna's hands "Picture of your grandbaby." Jenna rolled to the bedside.

"I totally see some Teller in there." Jenna smiled.

"I'm too old to discern facial features, this getting old thing is for the birds." Gemma muttered and Jenna snickered "They are doin' the three dimensional one to check for the defect in the next few weeks I'll bring you one."

"Even if Grandma's a jail bird?" Gemma whispered.

"Especially if Grandma's a jail bird. Any regrets Gemma?"

"Tons Darlin' but puttin' a cap in that bitch ain't one." Just then Jax walked in. "I need to talk to you Ma."

"Okay."

Jenna made no move to leave. "And I need you to leave Jenna."

"Of course you do." she muttered letting off her chair breaks

"Its not…the less you know the better baby."

"Yeah, Well I'll be at the club house or do you not want me there either?"

"Jenna."

"Just don't Jax." and she rolled off. "Bye Gem."

"Bye baby."

"What are you doin' son?"

"Right now Ma, I'm swimming against the damn current."

* * *

Jenna was sitting on the couch reading when the raid started in all its shouting chaos. As she was cuffed she shot Jax the dirtiest look she possibly muster. The girl cuffing her was a friend from high school. "Sorry Jennasis."

"I've been getting that a lot today. Its alright Cammie you are just doin' your job."

-/-

"Someone had better fuckin' tell me why my pregnant ass was just cuffed like a common sloppy criminal." Jenna screamed. As the cops rolled away.

"They were just rattling our cages sis." Opie tried a calming tone.

"I don't give a fuck Opie, I want to know the reason and now."

"They were lookin' for scripts." Opie muttered.

"How could they know?" Jax pondered.

Jenna laughed. "Really Jax? How could they ever know? I'll kill the bitch I told you… I fuckin' told you!" She rolled off.

"Park your ass woman!" she swung around fire in her eyes.

"Oh shit she's gonna hit you man." Juice said. She rolled toward him.

"Jenny, just…" Opie tried.

"Jax got himself into this he can get himself out." she said coldly. She grabbed Jax by the cut. "In case you have forgotten I take orders from no one. However if you would like for me to remain here and let you handle it, It

would help you greatly to rephrase your request. You got that cowboy?"

"I would like for you to stay here and let me handle it for the safety of our child. Please?"

"There, wasn't that hard to be kind was it? I'll stay but only because you used the baby as your trump card. Dirty pool Jackson."

Jenna sat up under the club house awning and watched Ima approached Jax. They conversed a little before he rolled on. Jenna shook her head.

* * *

Later that night.

Jenna sat looking at old vinyl records of hers that Piney kept in the club apartment. Tears she couldn't explain away dripped down her cheeks, Sunshine slipped quietly into the room.

"What are the tears for Songbird?"

"If I knew, I wouldn't be crying Deacon."

"I'm just tired. Ignore me."

"No." he walked over cupping her chin in his hand. "He's changed you. Made you less than you were and you don't even see it." he kissed her and it took her a full minute to react. She shoved him away. "I love Jax. He didn't change me you just don't know the real me."

Jax had walked back to check on Jenna he saw her kissing him and turned and left finding Ima leaning on his bike. "You still need that ride home?" Jax asked,

* * *

Jax has done a lot of stupid things in his life but half way through fucking Ima he knows this is by far the stupidest. He can't get Jennasis' face out of his head. he knows Jenna like back of his hand. That surprisingly small pinkish slightly raised scar in the small of her back that he runs his fingertips down isn't there, curves and lines in all the wrong places, the reedy little moan Ima is making makes him want to smother her with a decorative pillow. Their pace and rhythm is off completely it takes him twice as long to get off and he really just wants to end it now because he knows he's fucked it up real good this time.

He collapses on Ima's sweaty too sweetly smelling body and longs to cry but fights the amazingly strong urge to do so.

"That was…"Ima mumbled.

"The worst thing I've ever done to Jenna in the twenty six years I've known her."

"Crippled bitch is really that good huh?"

"Don't." he threw her off him. Dressed and left.

-/-

Jenna lay in bed alone. She heard the shower run.

Clean of the experience at least physically Jax crawls into bed.

"There's only one reason a man comes in late at night and showers Jackson. I hope she was worth it." Jenna murmured. And his heart crashes into his stomach.


	10. Episode7: Damage

**AN: I own nothing but Jenna . Everything happens like on the show minus the whole Tara baby thing you just don't see much of it this time. Sorry! Hope you guys enjoy anyway R&R-Meg**

**-/-**

She doesn't have to hear a single word to know, the shaky way the breath is leaving his body is confession in itself. She snapped on the light pinning him with a look that would of made his mother proud . It was the hurt behind the anger that ripped at his heart.

"Why?" such a simple question and yet Jax felt his response wouldn't suffice.

"I saw you kiss him and…"

She laughed almost choking on her tears. "I turned him down Jax. Flat out. Didn't stick around quite long enough did you?"

"Baby I- it didn't mean anything. I regret it instantly. I-"

"Do not say you love me. Get out."

"Jenna please don't do this baby I-"

"Get the fuck out before I call Ope and have you thrown the out. You know he'll do it too. I trump you every time. Go." tears welled in her eyes.

"We can fix this Jennasis." he pled.

"No, we can't. Just go please." he got up and dressed silently. And left.

-/-

The next morning Opie watched as Ima strolled to the back of the club house "He's not here." he called to her.

"Knowing his wife I'd bet he is darlin'." Ima smiled.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing he didn't want. What? Are you his keeper or something?" Opie ignored her statement dialing Jennasis' number.

" Hey baby." Lyla said as she approached Opie, he listened to the phone ring non stop. "Why is the Bitch even here Lyla?" He muttered.

"What Ima does isn't my fault."

"No but maybe if you did something besides eat pussy for a living you'd have a better set of friends." She slapped him and he knew he deserved it.

"He cheated on my pregnant baby sister Lyla." he said lowly.

Just as he was straddling his bike go track down Jen he saw Lyla slap Ima.

Lyla walked over. "She won't answer and I'm worried call you when I know more."

"Okay." she whispered and he rode off.

-/-

She didn't answer when he knocked so let himself in. "Sis?" He called to no one. He found her sitting in the same exact spot where Jax had left her the night before. Eyes swollen and red from crying all night. He strode over. "Jen?" He tentatively asked.

"I don't matter." her tears made her voice sounds small and childlike to his ears.

He squatted down before her. He kissed her forehead. "You matter baby girl, you matter." "Not to him he cheated." "I thought he might have." she clutched on to him sobbing into his cut. "Shh, Jenny. Shh, I've got you."

Once she calmed down. Her almost catatonic state scared him. He scooped her up carried her to the bathroom and set her in the shower chair. "It'll make you feel better. You need my help?" she shook her head no. he averted his eyes and started her water. She stripped down he fixed the shower for her blindly handing her the sprayer. "I'll go check in with Lyla she's worried about you and bring you some clothes ok?"

"Thank you Harry." she murmured tiredly.

"I always take care of you. No matter how old you are or what you need Jen its fine. Be back."

He called and filled Lyla in and apologized for being an ass to her earlier. Then wheeled her chair into the bathroom and put her clothes and a towel within reach. He could still hear her crying as he stood in the hall waiting on her. His cell rang. "How is she?" Jax asked, "So you just let me find her this way Jax ? Don't even bother to warn me?"

"How is she Opie?"

"For the first time in my life I can honestly say I hate you. She's nearly catatonic you asshole! What in hell are you doing?" he fought the urge to scream at Jax.

I don't know man I wasn't thinking."

"Obviously. You better have wrapped it up man that's a high traffic area you were tearing through last night and if you give her something I'm going to be real fuckin' pissed."

"You think she'll forgive me?" Jax sounded like he might cry.

"Yeah I think eventually it'll happen…takes more than a little porn star ass to scare her off." He watched as Jenna rolled out of the bathroom dressed with a towel wrapped on her head.

"He wants to know how you are." he nodded at her.

"I don't care what he wants Opie."

"She doesn't care what you want." he relayed.

"He says he loves you."

"Yesterday I'd of believed him now not so much. What you want for breakfast Ope?" she tried for nonchalance.

"She doesn't believe that anymore, You want me to hang up on him all angry like now?" She gave a sad chuckle and turned to him with tear filled eyes. "Please, Don't joke yet I can't take it."

"OK, OK, Sorry sis. I gotta go dude I made her cry again."

"Oatmeal sound good?" Opie asked. "Not really but I gotta eat for the baby. Where are the kids?" "I knew something was up so I headed over here. Lyla took them to school." He wheeled her into the kitchen. "She's a good girl Ope, its ok to like her. Just do me a favor?"

"Uh huh. "he set about fixing her breakfast.

"Paige is still real sensitive about her Mama, don't let her feel like you're replacing Donna."

"Jesus Jen I'm not. I can't! Donna was Donna and I-" he leaned on the bar staring at his hands.

"I know you loved her Ope, That's not what I'm saying, What I'm saying is that's what it looks to a thirteen year old girl. That girl who only had her Mama to rely on while you did a nickel in Chino. Just be aware Bub, and don't be overly affectionate in front of her. Not yet, I can see the pain her face when you kiss Lyla.

"I thought they liked her." his brow furrowed as she looked up at him.

"They do. Just because you like someone doesn't mean you want the chick pushin' all up on your grieving Daddy though, Remember the Mariana chick Dad dated when I was sixteen?" He "um hmmed" at her.

"I liked her fine but I hated the whole mother act she put on, plus Daddy still loved Ma, I just didn't get the point. Neither will Paige."

"Stop trying to deflect and talk to me Jenny." he sat a bowl of instant oat meal in front of her. "And eat too damn it."

"Yes Master, anything else Master?" She smirked at him.

"Ha, shovel it in Genie." he said dryly.

"I can handle the guns, and the runs, the wars. Because I grew up in it, But I needed him not to cheat Opie, That's all I needed and all I asked. Why is that one thing to hard? You're an ass half the time but never cheated on Don, I'd of seen it in your eyes…I just needed him to be faithful."

"I know that. Jax has always been compulsive he doesn't think before he acts. He never even thought past how good it was gonna feel to get his rocks off and you know it. You know who he is Jen, he's never had to lie to you." he pointed out.

"No, he didn't lie Ope. He just betrayed me. I'm going to stay up at the cabin." she ate a bite. Chewed and swallowed. "Okay I gotta head out. We're taking a cargo plane from Stockton at six be there. You'll be ok?"

"Yeah."

"I'll catch a ride with Pop the hangar. Probably won't see Gemma off before they take her to county though she'll see it on my face…"

-/-

Jenna knew Opie had told Piney by the look she gave him they pulled up. "I'm fine old man nothing I can't handle." she said getting and the prospect loaded her chair.

Jenna hugged her brother. "Call me. Everyday keep me posted tell me the minute you find Abel."

"Okay, no problem and it's just a week Jen it'll all be fine." he kissed her temple. "Here's hopin' she murmured as Jax Clay and Gemma pulled up in the TM tow truck . Her eyes bugged out of her head when she saw Gemma.

"What the hell?" Bobby gave voice to her question. She half heard someone ask about Tig and Clay's response being." He's half to Modesto by now." she let go of Opie as Jax moved toward them.

"Not my idea." Jax murmured he stood before Jenna.

"You ready to talk to me?" Jax asked. "Not particularly, maybe you'll get lucky next week cowboy."

"Jenna I-" he started.

"You really want to do this here? Now? Fine I got no problem unleashing the Winston in me on you. You cheated on me you mother fucker don't expect me to stoop and bow at Prince Jackson's feet fuck you."

"You knew who I was when you married me. You had no problem laying down when it was Tara on the receiving end." he said spitefully.

"Really?" a feral smile crossed her face. She cracked her gum. "

The only thing stopping me from knockin' your teeth down your throat is the fact that I'm damn sure your Mama wants a piece of you and I wouldn't want to deny her that. Maybe karma is biting me in the ass Jax but I thought you loved me enough not to cheat. Maybe the fact that you never came after me in the first place should of told me how you felt. Clay is an arrogant mother fucker but he'd go to the ends of the earth to find Gemma, Opie would gladly sell his soul to have Donna back for even five minutes. My parents as fucked up as they are, have loved each other for thirty-five goddamn years. You say you love me but not once in the three years I was gone did you try to contact me. I asked you I practically begged you to tell me to stay you just stood there. We all come to you don't we Jackson?" She cocked her head at him.

"Me? Tara? Wendy? You get everything handed to you on a silver fucking platter I guess that includes pussy. You've never fought for anything in your life never fought for anything you wanted. You expect life to come you. Well not any more. I'm done running from you…this time the pain is gonna be right here in your face and God do I hope it hurts I hope you are in fucking agony when you see me with you're kid and know you can't ever touch the best thing that ever happened to you. First time wasn't you're fault this time it's all your own destruction and for what? Some second rate porn girl ass. God I hope it was good Jax cause its all you have to keep warm at night…a loop of that ten minute cum shot…I hope she was damn good you selfish bastard." she wiped angrily at the tears tracking down her face.

Opie whistled lowly and Jax realized everyone had seen the whole thing. "She made her feelings known I see." Opie smirked. Gemma walked over calmly and slapped Jax hard. "I raised you so much better that. Get your ass that fuckin' plane now!"

"Do you take lessons from my wife or something Jen? Because that thing of beauty is straight out of the Gemma Teller handbook." Clay told her. "You gimmie time to stew and the Piedmont comes out in me." she replied.

"That's just a day's worth of shit. What happens if you let her stew longer? World War three?" Happy whispered to Opie.

"No some of that shit's three years old. She thinks and she's probably right he should of come after her." Opie answered.

-/-"I love you Jenna, believe it or don't I don't care because I know the truth." Jax leaned down. "I'm sorry." he whispered and kissed her cheek.

"Be careful." she replied.

"I'll call you baby." Gemma said she nodded standing with her Dad watched them all walk away. "Well Daddy lets go bail out Tiggy." she said once the plane had left their sight.


	11. Episode 8: Conversations In The Twilight

**AN: This is the best way Icould think to fit Jennasis in I hope you like it and don't mind the shortness or the changes! I own nothing please review!**

-/-

Jenna lay sleeping. Ann stood watching her as she began to moan and thrash about. "No, no, no," she murmured and Ann shook her Awake. "Baby?"

"Just a nightmare Mama. Sorry."

"Don't be what's it about?"

"Jax dying." She shifted and set up in bed. "Like the fifth time I've had it."

"Well you and Jax have always been really connected and you are going through a lot just now, your mind is running away with you babe that's all."

"Connected. That we are, have you ever felt like you recognized somebody by their soul? Like its this automatic I know you feeling that you can't really explain."

"Why do you think you have Piney Winston's smile?" Ann smiled fondly

Jenna laughed. "Ya gotta love the cantankerous old fart."

"I do. Just like you love Jax no matter how much you are hurting right now." she sat on the bed placing her hand over Jenna's "That love, it'll never move. It will always be present."

Jenna's chin wobbled as she fought back a sob. Ann automatically thought of the little girl with scraped knees trying to be tough while Daddy fixed her up.

"I thought you'd be so glad Ma. You were right."

"I don't want to be if it means causing you pain Jennasis."

"I'm not sure I can be forgiving Mom."

"Just be healed. Forgiveness will come when its supposed too."

-/-

Jenna said she felt like crap and it wasn't exactly a lie she did feel like crap but it was mostly due to Jax's actions so when Tara offered to take care of the intake paper work at the shop she let her. She went to lay down in the club house but the smell of Jax on the sheets made it hard to sleep and she began to feel nauseous she couldn't decide if it was nerves or pregnancy making her feel that way she got up to go tell the prospect to buy her a Sprite and peanut butter crackers and found Lyla and Tara talking.

"You're supposed to be laying down." Tara stated.

"I tried, kid ain't havin' it." she looked over and noticed Lyla was some what pale. "You ok Ly?"

"Fine just a flu bug or something asking the doc's advice." Something about Lyla's expression set Jenna's radar off but she couldn't place it. She decided to let it go for now.

"Listen Jen, I'm real sorry about Ima." Lyla apologized.

Jenna shrugged, "Jax made his bed. A skanky disease filled bed I'm sure and now he'll get to lay in it. Doesn't reflect on you Lyla. Opie he was just pissed and you got in his way. I was told you slapped her, thank you for that by the way."

"It was my pleasure trust me."

"What did I miss?" Tara asked.

"Nothing much just that Jax fucked Ima, I know got what I deserved didn't I doc."

"I didn't say that."

"Didn't have to your face said it for you." Jenna snickered. "It's fine Tara I'd hate me too if someone else loved Jax and got what they wanted without caring whose toes got stepped on I'm a bitch I'll give you that but I've never fucked a married man that's the difference between what Jax and I did and what he did too me."

"One of the things I've always liked about you Jen is that you never try to be something you're not. You're honest. Its admirable don't let him talk you out of your feelings because he'll damn sure try."

"Thanks I think, Ma is dragging me out shop for the baby wanna go Lyla? Be my buffer?"

"Ha you guys are doing good I thought."

"We are its just she's Ma.""I'd love to but I can't I have an appointment,"

"Oh okay, need me to get the Winston spawn?"

"Nah I got em' thanks though."

"Alright well call me. I'm going to send the prospect for Sprite and lay down a bit."

"Jenny," Piney called having heard the conversation. "The couch isn't as comfortable but it won't smell like him." that simple statement and the fact that he knew what the problem was despite having not told him made her want to cry. "Thank you Daddy."

-/-

Jenna was worn out physically and mentally from shopping with her mother but she still couldn't sleep so she made some bread to work out her frustrations in the kneading. Still unsettled she went to the club house since she felt safer there.

-/-

She still wasn't speaking to him, so when he wondered back into the bedroom of the flop house after seeing Kellan Ashby he was surprised to see her face on Juice's laptop sitting at Bobby's old upright Steinway not paying any attention to whoever might be on the other end of the Skype, playing some tune he can't place. He listens as She fiddles around then starts to sing.

"Big brother said just run

He'll hurt you only to feel he's won

Leaving you to cry tears dyed blue.

But I couldn't move, no I cannot move.

There's this power undefined in loving you.

Tattoo my wings on and let me fly

Break me into pieces place me in a leather pocket

Its as close as I'll get to the truth

La da da dum -pfft and I'm stuck!"

She wasn't ready to forgive him he knew but maybe he could connect to her this way. He didn't play anymore after receiving so much bullshit from the guys about it being girly, but he'd always found it relaxing his mother said people like him needed physical action in order to decompress he guessed it was true.

"What was that? Its pretty" She jumped and looked up at the screen.

"Juice was supposed to be getting Opie for me."

"Well you know Juice has attention deficit oh shiny,"

Jenna laughed. "Damn it I need to stay mad at you."

"Really what was that?"

"Really I'm not talking to you." Jenna muttered.

"You have flour on your chin, and please just talk to me even if you are mad at me I need it!"

She wiped at her chin. " Fine its lyrical therapy, Bobby needs to tune this it sounds like crap."

" I'll tell him. Feeling kinda dark?"

"Wonder why?" she said sarcastically.

Tig walked in seeing them Opie and Clay had come in following the sound of what they thought was Jax talking to himself . "What the fuck are you doing?" Tig asked Jenna. "Did I bother you no piano at my place and I feel safer here. I didn't mean to wake you."

"Leave them alone." Clay ordered from the door way behind Jax.

"Looks to me like they are having a conversation which we interrupted and are all now leaving you too" Opie added. "dumbass." he continued muttering under his breath. Jenna couldn't tell if Opie was referring to Jax or Tig. It made her smile.

"Talk to me." Jax said pleadingly when they left.

"There are certain things you can't fix Jax and I seriously thought about paint balling your bike."

You wouldn't be the woman I loved if you didn't at least think it." Jax smirked.

"I think things like what's next…I never ever thought you'd do what you did. I thought you'd rather die than become the walking biker cliché that all the others are…"

"Babe-"

"You're that much closer to being Clay. The only difference is as least he's up front about being a huge prick."

"You're trying to piss me off Jenna. Trying to fight so you can stay mad." Jax gritted out.

"Oh come on you know he fucks around on your Mama. Seriously what's next Jax where do you draw the line huh? You don't knock me around or anything so it makes cheating ok right?"

"Jenna-"

"Think about it, think real hard and make a choice. Draw the line and walk it because if you don't I can always find someone who respects me more than you do now. Say Sunshine…Yeah I'd do it just to piss you off too. Draw the line Jax or I'll draw it for you and you won't like it when I do."

" Okay then, Feel better?"

"A tad."

"Good, now that I've talked to the pissed off wife how bout letting me talk to my best friend I kinda need her."

"Ok then cowboy, what's up?"

"Well the cliff notes version is…" He lit a cigarette inhaling deeply.

"We were almost deported I kicked Liam O'Neil's ass, I had to wait around for Kellan to tell me where the baby was only to find out that the same lovely priest is holding Abel hostage basically so I would kill Jimmy O in exchange.

"What the fuck?"

"I'm getting there babe…Ashby says good old Jim is power hungry and wants to push out the sons in favor of his." Jax used air quotes "Fight."

"Apparently, he's using kids as soldiers and IRA wants to kill him but can't without inciting a further war and I…the avenging father can."

"I know offing him isn't a issue for you."

"No something else is…"

"Ah, the agreement you made will be fucked."

"Bingo!"

"And Gemma goes to jail, you don't kill him and you're going to be easy to make for a rat."

"The woman's on a roll."

"Fuck what are we gonna do?"

"Don't know yet but they are giving me back my son."

"This scares me Jax."

He looked at her on the screen longing to touch her. "I need you to know something Jenna,"

"Jax-"

"No listen, I don't know what the consequences of my actions will be or how they will effect you and for that I'm sorry. I love you always, that never changes and never will."

"I love you Jax. Sometimes I wish it wasn't such a deep thing but I do."

He put out his cigarette raising his fingertips to his lips he kissed them.

"That's good enough for me babe. Now, get some sleep the sun's about to come up on your side of the world."

"Give everyone my love, be safe Jackson goodnight." she winked at him then his screen went blank.


	12. Episode 9: An American Girl

**AN: I own nothing but Jenna and Arizona. Everything regarding Ireland still happens and I know the last scenes might confuse you but it's a montage happening all at the same time. Enjoy & review! Meg**

**-/-/-/-**

Jenna awoke in the empty club house. She got up and went to the bathroom. Grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl on her way out she went to check the shop for life. She found only Lowell. She usually avoided him because all his twitchy movement and social awkwardness freaked her out. Fishing her phone out of her purse she hit Piney's speed dial number. The phone rang and a gruff, "Yes, Darlin'." sounded in her ear. "Hey Daddy, where are you all?" she said dropping her purse into the passenger seat of her truck she turned on the speaker phone setting it on the dash to transfer into the truck.

"Hospital somebody beat up Lump." settled in the truck as it rumbled to life she returned the phone to her ear.

"Who the hell would do that Lumpy's older than dirt its just cruel."

"He says the Mayans but I don't know the deal's awful fresh Alvarez wouldn't fuck it up."

"What deal Dad? Jax didn't mention a deal."

"It's just a truce baby we need peace."

" I don't doubt it old man but what was the price of that peace?"

"We let them run their wares through Charming." Jenna growled. "Of course he doesn't tell me we've suddenly decided to become drug runners…shit's gonna back fire Daddy."

"Don't go borrowing trouble baby girl."

"Yeah okay I have an appointment and some stuff to do so don't be surprised or worried if I come in late tonight. Have Fester and Gomez killed each other yet?"

"No but I'm hoping really hard." Jenna laughed. "Bye daddy I love you."

"And I love you Jenny girl, be careful bye sweet heart."

-/-/-/-

She went home showered and dressed in jeans and one of the guys SAMCRO hoodies it smelled like Opie she thought.

-/-/-/-

" I feel like I should tell Jenna what's up but she'll just hang up on me." Jax directed at Opie as they sat waiting to leave on the run.

"Can't hurt to try, right now though dude a lot more than her pride is hurting."

"Whose Jenna?" Trinity asked.

"My wife."

"What you shag someone else?"

"Yeah Trinity I did, can I borrow your phone?"

"Sure." he dialed and waited hoping she had the pre-pay on.

"Hello." She answered tentatively.

"Hey baby, don't hang up!"

"The only reason I am not hanging up on you is my mother forced me into more baby shopping and we're buying crib stuff, she likes the clowns Jackson! Clowns! Help me! All you fuckers left me with her and I can't smoke or drink so fucking help!"

"You hate clowns. They scare you." Jax stated.

"Exactly. I want a cigarette and a damn nap."

"Uh try telling her research shows that clowns frighten babies because their faces don't move and the lack of visible emotion will stunt its emotional growth."

"Research shows that really?"

"No I totally made that shit up what's important is she'll buy it." Jenna laughed. "Just hang in babe, we'll be home soon."

"You find our kid or figure out your little problem yet."

"No but I will."

"Keep me posted."

"You bet. I'll tell Ope he gets to take your Ma and the kids to chuck E. cheese in exchange for clown hell."

"You are evil Jackson, I love that!"

He chuckled "we're going on a run Babe call you as soon as I can."

"Alright stay safe, kiss Ope for me."

He laughed. "Yeah, that'll happen. I love you bye."

Two hours and four stores later She lay on the examining table in the obstetrics ward waiting on Tara. Listening to her Ipod on as she tried to use music to lift her spirits.

Tara came in touching her shoulder gently she asked. "What are you listening to ?"

"Something good this way comes by Jakob Dylan I'm not sure it works the power of positive thinking and all that but it can't hurt."

Tara smiled "We're going to do a 4D ultrasound today to look for the CHD and spare you an amniocentesis ok."

"Damn Jax is going to miss it."

"Hm, do you still have your flip cam in your purse?"

"Film it and email it to Juice. He'll show Jax."

"That's a good idea Tara thanks."

"Not a problem, how are you feeling?"

"Worn down, all the books say I should be getting this burst of energy but nada."

"I want to run a few tests then I'll follow you home."

"You don't have to Tara, I'm fine."

"I know that but I need some stuff from the club anyway and it beats being alone."

"Okay." She was willingly hanging out with Tara Knowles what was her world coming to Jennathought

-/-/-/-

As Jenna was having her blood drawn a funny feeling struck her.

*Is everything ok?* she shot him a quick text.

* Whose this?*

* Jennasis Teller who are you and why do you have my husband's phone.*

* Trinity Ashby, I don't he borrowed mine to call you love*

* Ok have him call me when he returns*

She used Tara's computer to upload the video she taken earlier as she waited for Tara to finish for the day.

-/-/-/-

"Yo Jax,"

"Yo Juice."

"Your lady love sent me a video for you."

Jax smirked. "What Kinda video?"

"Well judging by the smart assed text accompanying it- it ain't porn my friend."

"What's it say?"

"This Video is Jennasis Teller approved for all audiences."

"Well play it." they saw a blue round blur and then Jenna's face. "Hi bikers." she smiled.

-/-/-/-

"Ready to roll Jen." Tara leaned in the doorway.

"Yep."

"By the way your blood works shows a little anemia it explains the tiredness I'm going to prescribe you some iron supplements."

"Alright."

-/-/-/-

"Gather round ladies and gents because according to the doc we get to see Baby Teller today." Jenna pointed the camera toward the screen as the baby came in to view in the three dimensions.

"Wow…it actually… its real… and it has Jackson's nose…and Hey bubba I think that's your chin…" her voice wobbled. "I didn't think I'd be so damn emotional."

"It is a girl, Jen." they heard Tara say followed shortly by Jenna's excited squeal. Opie chuckled "I'll be damned she was right. You're going to have funkily named red headed kid Jax better teach her to shoot early."

"And they said Tellers can't make girls." Jax said.

"Oh yes they can." Gemma murmured.

"The defect?" he heard Jenna ask and heard his mothers breath in take and his happiness froze in place.

-/-/-/-

Turning off toward the club Someone rear ended Tara causing her to rear end Jenna. Some instinct set Jenna's radar off but something told her not to leave Tara. She got out of the car and saw a Mexican girl and guy berating Tara.

"Are you his girl or not?"

"Who's girl?" Jenna asked rolling up.

"Who the fuck are you?" the girl barked

"I told you she was his old lady not the brunette." The guy said.

"I haven't been Jax Teller's girl since I was eighteen I'm his wife, what's it too you Ricky Ricardo." Jenna replied.

"I'm his girl." the Mexican woman pulled her gun. Jenna pulled hers.

"Listen you skanky little wet back you want a pair of legs that still work to swim your scrawny ass back across with you'll drop your damn gun."

"And I got no problem being a baby killer red." she leveled her gun at Jennasis' stomach on instinct Jenna dropped her gun.

-/-/-/-

"Yes, she has the defect Jennasis." Jax's stomach dropped. "Stay cool sis," Opie murmured as though Jenna could hear him.

"What? I mean what do I need to do?" Jenna's voice was thick with unshed tears but level Jax was proud of her.

"Right now your heart is doing most of the work for… "

"Arizona." she supplied for Tara.

"Arizona's heart, I can fix it once she's born in comparison to the other defects in your family Gemma's, Thomas', Abel's even the defect looks relatively minor see that little hole there?" "Yeah hang on." she zoomed in so Jax could see I just go in and stitch it closed."

"Really?"

"Yeah either that or it will close itself off like Jackson's did so lets not freak out just yet."

-/-/-/-

As they drove off in the Salazar's car Jenna was calculating her head how long it would take Piney to find them. She hoped Jax didn't freak out when he was unable to get a hold of her.

-/-/-/-

Sometimes life is just to heavy Jax thought as he stood out in the black Irish night.

"Spare a fag?" Trinity asked him.

She took one and the light he offered. "Shouldn't you be asleep? Its three in the morning?"

"Not much for sleeping besides that I meant to tell your wife texted my phone earlier checking you."

"Hm," she handed him the phone. He dialed and listened. "That's odd got the machine. Maybe she fell asleep."

"Maybe, how are you Jax really?"

"I'm tired Trinity."

"Well if it helps any I think your ol' lady still loves you. She's still callin' ya that means something in my opinion."

"I hope it means something along the lines of forgiveness but we shall see." he slung his arm around her shoulders they stood silently smoking in the chilly Irish air.


	13. Episode 10: Lies And Truths

**AN: obviously I reworked the gross part! Ugh! So not right! And I changed and added in some more stuff! Hope you like it! I own nothing but Jenna and the fictional baby! Enjoy!-Meghan**

-/-/-/-

Father Ashby woke Jax from his twilight like slumber to tell him he no longer needed him to kill Jimmy O. After assuring himself that he was still going to gain access to Abel and shutting the door behind Ashby. Jax picked up his mother's prepay and dialed Jennasis' number it rang and rang before her voice mail clicked on. "Hi you've reached Jennasis Teller, I'm unable to answer the phone so leave me a message oh and fear the reaper…"

The last part always made Jax chuckle and he was doing so as the tone sounded. "Hey baby, aside from an explosion all is well I'm that much closer to little man I can feel it call me back when you get this. Love you Darlin' bye."

-/-/-/-

Jenna knew on some level she should be scared but adrenaline and sheer stubbornness prevented it. She stared at sloping eave of the attic walls.

The girl walked in ripping the tape from Tara's mouth .

"Ahh, What do you want?" the slap reverberated around the room

"Did I say you could talk bitch?" She gave her water then turned to Jenna. Ripping the tape off Jenna let off a string of profanity severe enough to curl your hair.

"You can't talk either." She got slap for her efforts "I don't talk to cronies bitch what does Salazar want?"

"I have issues with your old man's club mommy, all I need is a number."

"Do not call me Mommy. Beaner!" he rapped the gun butt against her temple and she saw stars. "The number."

"592-0438."

"Teller morrow how may I help you." Chuckie asked.

"I need to speak to a member of the Sons."

"Concerning what?"

"Just put a patch on the phone."

Chuckie caught Piney's attention. "Not very nice." Chuckie told him.

"Hi, this is Piney."

"Are you a patched member?"

"Who wants to know?"

"Someone pointing a gun a Jax teller's Old lady's head."

Kozik walked in. "Hey Piney, Jen's truck and chair are abandoned on the dirt stretch behind the shop. Along with Tara's cutlass " Piney's stomach dropped. "Put my daughter on the phone." he said stonily.

Jennasis' whispery "Daddy." sounded in his ear.

"I'm gonna come get you Jenny. Hang tight."

"Alright I will."

-/-/-/-

"So he wants 250K and Alverez dead any ideas?" Tig said.

"Yeah I'm getting my damn kid back I don't care how." Piney said.

"Do we tell Jax?" Kozik asked.

"No he has enough on him." Piney said.

"Well we can't very well kill Alverez with the truce and we're tapped." Tig said.

"What part of he has my pregnant daughter do you not get Tig? Fuck the consequences…"

"Lets try just talking to Alverez." Kozik said.

-/-/-/-

Guns drawn they stared Alverez down. "How'd you find me?" he shouted.

"Salazar gave us your address," Tig said. "He wants us to kill you."

"The truce!" he shouted clutching his child and gun tightly.

"We mean no harm man, we come in peace…lets just holster our guns ok…" Kozik tried to be the calm person in the situation. Alverez handed off the baby and they all holstered their weapons.

"They have Jax's old lady. With his baby missing we can't let anything happen to Jen or Tara okay we just can't. We just need you to play dead for a bit. Get word out buy us time."

"I do that my business tanks."

"Come on you rise from the dead and all those vatos will worship you." Piney said. Alverez wasn't amused. "Just twenty four hours that's all we're asking." Tig said.

"They have my baby Marcus." Piney said very solemn and quiet. Bringing the gravity of it all down around them."

"Okay I play dead for twenty four hours. Only. You show up at my house again and I'll kill you."

-/-/-/-

"Sorry I got you into this Doc."

"I got myself into this way before you came back Jen, but are you worried because the club is tapped for money?"

"No my Dad, he'll get us out of this he won't stand for the club women to be used as leverage."

"So you are going on blind faith."

"Not blind I know exactly who and what I married and was born into. You leave your tatt where it is to remind you not to do those things again. I wear mine with pride."

"I was never ashamed to be with Jax."

"Liar. I get it. But it's still a lie."

"You are far to okay with making this your lot in life Jenna."

"Don't call me Jenna. And that's my call to make isn't it."

"I love him. Still."

"Love and acceptance are different things Tara, I love him on a bone deep

level I accept who he is flaws and all because its the only way I'll get him."

"He cheated on you. You are literally putt your life on the line we both are and he didn't have the decency to be faithful to either of us."

"Oh believe me that fight ain't over but I think he has the ability to change all those things he dislikes about his life its just a matter of the want to do it."

"So you'll stick around?"

"Yeah but for me this time, it has nothing to do with him my family is here. Turns out its nice to have breakfast with my Daddy and joke with Ope in the shop, watch his kids grow. Hanging out with my mom is even fun as long as its in small doses. We are getting out of here Tara, I promise. Dad's like a pit bull once he has a goal."

Jenna laughed. "Telling my Mama what the men I love dropped me into well them's the brakes as they say."

-/-/-/-

After they shook Cherry down for information Jax looked to his mother. "Try calling Jenna at some point today would you?"

"Sure son."

"Thanks Ma, just check on her for me? She won't return my calls."

"I can't imagine why?" Gemma needled. She was still angry with him. She guessed he was more like John than she had originally thought.

"Ma!"

"I'm just saying you shouldn't expect miracles Jackson."

-/-/-/-

"So will your Mom kill Piney?" Tara asked.

"Maybe, they've fought like cats and dogs as far back as I can remember. I used to hate it. Now, I just understand it."

"What do you mean?"

"Doin' the old lady thing for real? It ain't easy. You know what my first memory is? I must have been about two or three and Dad comes in, and picks me up from where I was playing in the floor and he looks at me like he might never see me again and hugs me to him so tight I can still smell the starch from his dress shirt. And I say "love the daddy." he kisses my forehead and says " love the Jenny." he puts me down and six hours later he was sitting in San Joaquin County for a run he got caught on. Did eight months left my mom alone with two kids. So I get it now I didn't a few years ago."

"And now Jax will do the same to you."

"Ugh, Jesus don't remind me. I know Gemma needed her justice and believe me I don't begrudge her a damn thing because those bastards needed to pay for what was done to us., but a church! I mean was it absolutely necessary to shoot up a goddamn church?"

"When they fuck up they certainly are go big or go home types."

Jenna laughed. "No fuckin' shit. Why is it we only get along when our lives are in peril?"

"The devil you know I guess…"

-/-/-/-

"Where are we going?" Filthy Phil asked.

"To get the cash out of my wife's safe." Piney said.

"Nuh uh that old bat's crazy." Tig said.

"Pussy, its not like you gotta tell her someone snatched up our kid and consequently our grand kid. So stop fuckin' around and get on your damn bike Tigger."

Ann heard the rumble of multiple bikes and knew in her life that's typically never a good thing. She swung the door open to reveal Piney, Tig, and Kozik.

"Piney,"

"Ann."

"Is Jenny with you? I've been trying to get hold of her all day and she won't answer."

"No, She's not I need the money from the safe Darlin'…" he brushed her aside to enter the house. "Oh no you don't! Wait! I said I couldn't get a hold of Jen and you don't look the least bit worried. Where is she? and why do you need the savings?"

"A rival MC took her and Tara Knowles as a bargaining chip." the slap came out of no where but he should of expected it."So that's where Jen gets her slapping gene from." Tig said.

"Shut up Alex!" Ann spit out.

"What did you tell me when she started making googly eyes at Jax all those years ago and I wanted to get her the hell out of dodge? Huh, What did you say Piedmont?"

"It'll all be fine trust me, Jax is a good kid." she mimicked

"But you were wrong Piney! He's a cheater and their kid got stolen and because one of you pissed off some crazed biker my baby is paying! It wasn't all fine now was it?"

"The money Ann?"

"How much do you need?"

"Two hundred and fifty grand."

"I only have ten saved, where will you get the rest?"

"Don't know Oswald maybe."

-/-/-/-

The Sons traitors having been dealt with Jax went for a walk. He could feel Opie trailing him a few lengths back.

"All of the sudden she's quit talkin' to me!" He shouted back at Opie.

"Her mad probably just got good and set in that's all." Opie yelled back.

"Ya think?" Opie strode beside him. "Yes I think so,. I can call her if you want see if she'll answer for me?"

"Yeah , just so I can… feel safe I guess?"

Opie pulled out his own prepay. Dialing the number from memory. "Hey kid sister, call me when you get this alright? You're freakin' Jackson out!"

"See?"

"Jax I bet her phone died or something?"

"She knows better than that and you know it!"

"Fine, I'll call the old man." he called his dad next.

"Hey Pop, where's Jen none of us can get a hold of her? Uh huh…ok Well when she wakes up tell her we're getting Abel and heading home tomorrow. Alright, Yeah I will… you too old man."

"My kid knocked her phone off the bathroom sink and into the toilet and she's sleeping now. Got all worried for nothing man."

-/-/-/-

"Lying to our kid might have been a bad move Piney."

"Yeah well he needs to focus and keep track of Jax and he's all over the place just now. Jen will be a whole lot more angry if her husband comes home in a body bag cause Ope got distracted."

"I'm just sayin' he's pit bull protective of that girl and you know it."

"That's the way we raised him to be ain't it. I plan for her to be home by the time their plane is in the air."

"One hair on that pretty red head of hers is outta place and I'm coming for your ass, we clear?"

"10-4 you old bat." Piney grumbled.

"Son of bitch…" she replied grinning. "Call me when you have her."

"First person on my list."

-/-/-/-

"It seems the sons are taking to long…who to shoot? Maybe I should just play eennie meenie miney mo…" the girlfriend went to free Jenna once she had a free hand Jenna drove the girls head into the floor. Salazar flung her across the room prepared to kick her. "You harm her and you will die." Tara pointed out. "I know every single man who has ever loved her and they'll come after you. Your death will not be quick either…so think about it."

Just then the phone rang. "Dad always did have perfect timing." Jenna said. He thrust the phone at her.

"Yeah, Tiggy I'm fine. Tell dad I'm fine."

"You have 24 hours if I don't get what I want the SAMCRO princess' are dead."

He clicked the phone shut. Jenna thought seriously about spitting his face. He knocked her out with the butt of the gun.

"You mess with my old lady I mess with you." Salazar said.

She came too with her head in Tara's lap seeing double. "Two Taras my worst nightmare." she grumbled.

-/-/-/-

Gemma went out for a smoke after her row with Maureen and caught Jax about to kiss Trinity. "No son don't!" she practically shouted.

After his mother had told him everything, "How bout we not tell Jenna I almost kissed my sister?"

"After all you've been through with Baby lately how could you even think about kissing someone else?"

Jax shrugged. "I'm a slut." Gemma chuckled. Opie poked his head in the door "Ashby is here." Jax nodded. "The priest doesn't leave this alley without giving you an address." Gemma told him. "Yeah." he replied.

-/-/-/-

Sitting at the table Jax wondered if Kellan were right. Should he just leave Abel to his new family? What would Jenna tell him? He sincerely wished Trey hadn't given Jenna's phone a swirly.


	14. Episode 11: Of Chance And Choice

" You need to stay awake Jen." Tara swallowed her throat feeling like sandpaper. "I think you have a concussion and I don't know how bad so I need you to stay awake."

"I'm sleepy…"

"I know you are just I don't know sing something…or talk to me."

"There's a field with a dream, I watched it grow with whitest light. I watched us all reach out and lean, For the strength to touch the sky. If you hear a distant sound, and some footsteps by your side. If you feel like comin' round, I will take you for a ride…"

"What is that you are singing?"

"Lifeline by Angels And Airwaves. Opie heard it on the radio in chino and wrote me a letter…" She closes her eyes and can still see his cramped handwriting on the yellow legal pad paper.

"I had just left. I knewJax could never leave Charming or me so I did the leaving. Ope, he said I was brave but I think…I think he knew how scared I was, he said the song reminded him of us because he would always come after me. Be my lifeline. We're running out of time Tara and as much as I believe in and trust my Dad to rescue us he has crazy and fuckin' crazy for back up. So I think we need a plan."

"I agree…"

"Let's wait until Salazar leaves for the drop off so it's one less person to deal with. Shit!"

"What Jen? "I dropped my gun in the road."

"I have mine…I don't like to shoot it."

"I'll use it. Wetback fucker has forced us to be nice to each other for a full 24 hours I got no problem poppin' his ass."

Tara laughed "We'll call it our good deed for the year. Time to neutralize rosie perez…"

"Hey! Hey! I gotta go the bathroom!" Tara shouted

. Jenna took an audible deep breath. "THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIEND." Jenna sang off key in a scream. Tara caught on to her idea of trying to annoy the woman to the point she came to shut them up. It only took six rounds of the song for their plan to work

"What do you noisy bitches want." She came in pointing the gun in the center of Jenna's head. "Well my friend she has to pee. Me well I just felt like buggin' you."

"Too damn bad."

"Let me go or clean up my piss your choice." Luisa huffed. "Fine.".

-/-/-/-

Jax carried in a crate of milk for Trinity. "Hey," He nodded toward her.

"I'm so embarrassed." She murmured.

"Almost only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades kid, its alright bottom line I found out I have a sister."

She made a noncommittal noise in comment. He moved forward and hugged her as his phone began to ring. "I need to take this." he murmured and kissed her forehead.

"Go get my nephew."

"You bet."

"Jax, what's your wife like?"

Jax smiled. "Beautiful, redheaded and mouthy with one hellacious temper. You'd like her."

"Ah, it all makes so much more sense now."

"That is so not funny Trinity."

"Go answer your damn phone."

-/-/-/-

Jax stood in Maureen's empty kitchen with his mother.

"What Happened where's Abel?"

"I let him go Ma." tears begin to choke him.

"What are you talking about Jax? You're scaring me!" Gemma fought the urge to scream hysterically.

"Dad's manuscript wasn't about changing the club it was about changing his legacy."

"Enough of this where is my grandson?"

"With a father who didn't torture and kill someone yesterday." and now those tears brim in his eyes blurring the world around him. He catches his mother's hastily aimed slap on the cheek. He looks down at his feet just before she catches his chin forcing his gaze to her.

"I don't care if you have killed a hundred men you don't bail on your family he's your son. What will you tell your daughter when she asks where her big brother is?"

"Nothing. I'm going to walk away."

"You're gonna walk away from Jennasis Winston? I'd like to see you try. You can't she left you remember? You want to beg your way back to her now but your going to leave? Please, Jackson stop trying to bull shit me. It's not going to work."

"I don't know what's right?"

"Obviously!"

Fiona, Kerianne, and Kellan walked in at that moment.

"It wasn't about Fiona, Jimmy wants to use the baby as leverage for passage to the states. What's wrong son?" Kellan said

"You're the ne who's twisted him all up." Gemma said.

-/-/-/-

Tara returned with blood stained hands. "Jesus Tara, what'd you do?" Tara wiped her hands on a old table cloth lying in the box next to Jenna's duct taped feet. "Fucking idiots you can't walk why tape you up?"

"Tara?"

"I did what had to be done Jen. Don't sweat it" she finished untaping her.

"So, I'm going to just piggy back you down. Okay?"

"Alright…and Tara thanks."

"You'd do it for me."

-/-/-

They had arrived to late to save the Petrie's and Jimmy still had Abel but after arranging the bodies more properly Jax collapsed on the floor. Opie sat next to him. They were silent a few minutes before Jax spoke.

"Kellan thought I should of let these people give Abel a better life and I was going to do it. Then this happens, I can't… do a damn thing right Ope."

"If you are thinking of leaving my sister stop it."

"She'd be-"

"She's not better off without you…I know. She would tell you if you want to change something, do something different, then do it but don't run from your life man, She's angry now but it will pass. She'll forgive you but be sincere and don't change who you are based one man who thinks he knew someone not a single of us fully understood. Don't leave her again man don't leave them unless you have too. Because, I'm not sure I can handle her crying like did the first time around ever again. Lets go get your kid and get out of this dreary fuckin' hell hole."

"Ope,"

"It is entirely to broke back to hug it out. Peel your ass up off the floor lets go."

-/-/-/-

Tara and Jenna were on the first floor landing when Salazar came in and pulled his gun on them. Jenna reached into Tara's waistband and pulled her gun.

"Drop your gun." he commanded.

"No you drop yours. I'm a damn fine shot and I got nothing to lose and have no problem making the doc temporarily deaf. Choice is yours vato, ain't nobody holdin' my kid this time and I'm whole lot pissed off. In fact I'm itchin' to spill blood." Jenna nodded "So what's its gonna be."

"Luisa!" he shouted.

"She's bleeding out in the bathroom go check." the light way Tara says it shocks Jenna. Walking along behind him and Jenna sees from her vantage point on Tara's back that Tara had done a number on the Mexican woman. "Jesus." she mutters without thinking.

"I can save her but you gotta let my friend go."

"I let her go I loose my leverage."

"You don't and you're both dead I promise you that…" Jenna states."You sure?" She whispered in Tara's ear. She nodded.

"Just out of curiosity who taught you to shoot?" Tara asked

"Jackson."

"Good."

-/-/-/-

Sitting in the police station she writes Jax a letter. Her dad, lumbers over and hugs her so tight she thinks maybe he was very acared. She smells the perpetually dusty scent of his denim cut and polo cologne. Daddy. Home. She swallows down the unexpected lump of tears.

"He still has Tara."

A few minutes later a cell phone is thrust at her by Tig. "Jax he doesn't trust me, needs to hear your voice."

"Hello."

"Jenna."

"Do you have Abel?"

"Yes. He's sleeping on my shoulder." he hears her sob."It's Okay baby, we're headed home."

"Salazar still has Tara, I didn't want to leave her with him but it was my best shot so I took it."

"Good. Are you hurt?"

"Minor concussion but other than that I'm fine. The baby's fine."

"I love you Jenna."

"I love you back. Can you kiss Abel for me?"

"Sure Darlin'…"

"Jax? Before I crawled into the station I made sure to note Salazar was headed north out of town with Tara."

Jax growled. Fucker would pay for making his wife _crawl_ anywhere.

"Okay put your dad on the phone. Ope, wants to bitch at him for being lied to."

Jenna waited until Opie was on the phone. "Harry, I'm fine."

"Not the point. See you tomorrow. Put him on the phone."

"Well I love you too. You crotchety little fuck."

After eating a hamburger from Lumpy's diner and using the bathroom at the police station she falls asleep on the way home on the shoulder of Kozik. She wakes momentarily when Piney picks her up.

"Just me Darlin'." he mumbles. "Daddy?"

"Gonna sleep in club okay. I'll be on the couch."

"And Mama?"

"Has a cot set up right by you."

"Dad, I'm a big girl I can-"

"I know you can take care of yourself but I need to so let me."

"When they get here-"

"I'll wake you up baby I promise." She hummed in response and burrows her face into his shoulder and falls back asleep.

-/-/-/-

**AN: I own nothing but Jenna. I'm sorry for the delay ladies life took over. Thanks to my BFF Jodi for saving me from certain disaster this chapter. Would you guys like some bonus chapters or my deleted scenes after the finale? Please let me know. I hope you enjoyed and please review.**


	15. Episode 12:Crushing Consequences

**AN: I own nothing but Jenna I know this was short and I'm sorry but there wasn't a lot of space for Jenna this Episode maybe I'll have better luck next week. Everything still happens like on the show except Jax doesn't kiss Tara and of course there is no baby or Margret the admin bits! Enjoy and please review=Meg**

-/-/-/-

Jenna watched as the van rolled in and her family bailed out she rolled forward stopping in front of Jax. She held Abel a few minutes she kissed his head and then pulled Jax in and kissed him deeply. She handed him Abel and the letter. Caught Opie's eye and then rolled off without a word.

Her silence was ominous it jangled Jax's nerves when he opens the letter and sees her wedding rings in the envelope his stomach drops.

_Jackson,_

_Let me start off by saying this isn't about love it's about trust. __I'm not angry anymore. I'm disappointed. I'm hurt and I'm through. I always thought I could be like Mama, and Gemma, and look the other way because I love you so much as it turns out… I can't… I took vows Jax, vows before God granted it was only in Unser's office but God was there and those vows I meant them and you didn't. So, you get to have these rings back. I sometimes wonder if you were wearing yours when you fucked Ima? Somehow I think you were and that means I meant even less to you than I thought. I'll love you until I die and maybe beyond that but I don't think its enough anymore. Let me know which one of us needs to file the papers._

_Jenna_

He hastily handed Abel to his mother and ran over to find Jenna packing her shop locker.

"A letter Jenna!"

"Yeah so," She put on her jacket and began rolling away again.

"How long have we been together? And all I get is a letter." he was near screaming and holding the letter up.

"If you count the years we were apart we've been together off and on for eight years four months and exactly three days. Yes, you got a letter because its not like you'd of Let me say it!" she put her bag on the chair.

"That's because it's a lie Jennasis! You love me, I know it and you know it"

"You just didn't love me Jax and that's what matters."

"Bull shit you're scared, Scared letting me back in forgiving me will you into Ann!"

"Fuck you!" She growled.

"Be mad baby. I don't care, Just tell me something?" he grabbed her arm and whirled her around to face him he kissed her hard. "Feel that?"

"Don't turn my-"

"Shut up and stop fucking fighting me at every turn Jenna Listen, I don't believe a damn word you say. You don't love me anymore, don't want me around I don't believe you! You say you're not leaving this time? Good, but don't you dare expect me to lay down and die, give you up without a fight because even if you never believe another thing I say believe this…"

He nodded at her. " I do love you, and not even the fact that I fucked someone else is going to change it."

"Please let go of me." she said it so quietly tiredly that it hurt his heart.

"What I did was wrong, I know that, it was shitty unfair and unbelievably low of me I don't deny it but I am sorry, So sorry but there are only so many ways I can say it Jenna. Please don't do this, I don't want my life to be what it was without you. Because its a real lonely place."

"I don't know what you want me to say Jackson, and I'm not in a forgiving place just now. I don't know how to be the kind of old lady who looks the other way . If I figure it out I'll let you know."

"Now please let me go, Trey gets scared if I'm late picking him up from karate."

He watched her roll away and get in her truck. He shoved a tool cart against the wall with a frustrated growl.

"Jackson?" Gemma called and he looked up to find her next to him.

"I'm going to lose her."

"Maybe, I don't know."

"That wasn't helpful Mom."

"You told her you were going to fight so do it."

-/-/-/-

Opie found Jenna trying to put together a crib.

"Hey kiddo, you ok?" he leaned against the wall she looked up at him screw driver in hand.

"Been better…definitely been worse. They find Tara?"

"Yeah, Do you know where Yaya's ring is?"

"Dad's safe behind that ugly ass velvet Elvis why?"

"Thinking of asking Lyla to marry me."

She whistled lowly. "Alright, do it because you love her not because you want her to close her legs too the world."

"You're a bitch you know that?" he said without heat.

"Yeah but I'm honest and I love you. So that's what counts right?"

"I love you too. I get your choice with Jax but don't let the bitterness eat away your joy." her eyes filled with tears. "Damn it Ope," she muttered.

"I'll watch the kids for you." he walked forward and kissed her on the top of the head. "Thank you ."

-/-/-/-

*Glad to know you are ok* Tara read Jenna's text.

* Thanks, friends?*

* Sure, What can it hurt? J*

*LOL! What are you doing?*

* Trying to put together a crib, cars are so much easier*

* Make Jax do it*

* Can't I left him*

*Damn*

*Yeah I know night Tara*

*Night.*

-/-/-/-/-

Jax found her sitting Indian style in the floor exactly where Opie had left her.

"Stupid Mother Fuckin' bassinet." Jax smiled. "Screaming at inanimate objects now babe?" he walked over and sat down next to her and handed her Abel. She cradled him to her chest. Tears dripped down her face.

"Nothing should be this hard."

"It's a baby bed I'll fix it Darlin'."

"Not that Jax, its everything else…" he nods and starts fixing the crib.

"Mom's doin' a breakfast tomorrow please come."

"Okay. your forehead?" she gestured to the nasty cut.

"Salazar. I'm alright its done. Can we just be quiet together? Missed you."

"Sure."

Neither of them knew what it really meant for them but they'd learned long ago to take contentment where ever and whenever they could find it.


	16. Episode 13: Glass Bead

**AN: Should be easy to follow no major plot changes-Meg**

=/-/-/-/-

Jenna rolls into Abel's room in the middle of the night to make sure he was still there and found Jax sleeping sitting up on the futon. She refused to forgive him no matter how much loves him. The way he looks positively angelic with his face lax in sleep isn't going to effect her either. She moves him into a prone position and then rolls over to rub a hand down Abel's back then returns to bed.****

She lay in the dark for ten minutes unable to sleep and her phone buzzes.

*Lyla said yes-Ope* and for petty reasons she won't acknowledge she wants to cry instead she types *Congrats Lyla Winston has a nice ring to it*

The next morning she sits next to Jax at the breakfast and watches as he shovels eggs in his mouth and Abel chews half heartedly on dry toast.

She listens with half an ear as Lyla makes her announcement and watches her nieces face go stormy as the place goes up on loud cheers.

Son of bitch didn't tell his kids first fucking coward. She thinks

Jax must of caught on because he whispers in her ear "I got this." he hands Abel off to Bobby and motions for Paige to follow him he claps Opie on the back in a congratulatory manner as he passes him on the way outside Paige's hand in his free one.

She's sitting in the hallway next to John's memorialized pan head when Gemma walks over and stands next to her.

"You're not very celebratory baby," She crosses her arms over her chest.

"This just has your finger prints all over don't it Gem." She snarled childishly.

"Your point would be? Thought you liked Lyla."

"Liking that girl ain't got jack shit to do with it and you know it. You know he's doing this for the wrong reasons, he's not in love with her. He barely knows her. He has loved Donna since he was fifteen and suddenly mere months after she died he's ready to marry someone? Five months ago Gem, he couldn't sleep in his bed with her. So yeah I'm not happy because he's not gonna be in the long run using commitment as a weapon always backfires. I wish he'd stop thinking with his cock long enough to listen to his conscience and sure as hell wished you'd kept your nose out of it."

"Oh there is some Ann in you after all." Gemma's eyebrows rose. She liked seeing the spitfire in younger woman it meant Jax might stand a chance later.

"Please you are just mad because I'm not afraid to tell queen Gemma when she's over stepped and you did."

Jenna stopped and hugged Opie. "Congrats but next time you decide to do something like this tell your kids first or I will kick your ass up and down main street!"

She hugged Lyla kissing her cheek. "Welcome to the family sweetheart."

She looked to her brother.

"Tell Jackson I went home he's busy having a heart to heart with Paigey."

"Why don't you tell him yourself?" Opie smirked.

"Because saying goodbye leads to kissing goodbye and kissing most definitely leads to sex with Jax and sex might lead to being all softened up into forgiving him and I can't have that now can I?" She smirked.

"You are really fucked up. I love you though."

"Back at ya bro."

-/-/-/-

Juice hears strains of "We're Off To See The Wizard." floating down the hall and walks down the hall and into the Teller bedroom. The plate of enchiladas Gemma sent him over with in his left hand. "I don't represent the lolipop guild but I bring you sustenance Mama!" and that's when he notices Jenna's red rimmed eyes and hears her sniffles.

"Seriously Jen, it's a kids movie don't cry."

"Not to me it's not its my favorite, and Jax ruined it." She Sniffed.

"How? And why is it your favorite? It seems kinda like a non Jennasis movie."

"It took me awhile to figure out the whole 'happiness is in your own back yard' thing and you know what never mind its not important… who let you in?"

"Paige. Here Mexican food." he handed her the plate.

"Well she needs to quit letting random people in the house your harmless but not everyone is…"

"I know I'll tell her on my way out. You okay? I mean for real?" her eyes filled with tears again and he felt like an ass. "Okay as I can be, damn fucking sorry ass baby hormones."

-/-/-/-

Juice walked over to Jax where he stood by the bar. "Hey dude I just found Jen having a full on cryfest how the hell did you ruin The Wizard Of Oz?"

"I… uh… its personal be back."

-/-/-/-

"Aunt Jenny is it safe to let Uncle Jax in? He has more food! I can be bitchy for you and make him stand here all night if you want!" Paige shouted back to her Aunt.

"Yes, let him in if I throw something don't worry I meant too."

"Jesus Mini Donna." Jax muttered at Paige

"Ohh, Pie. I can have some?"

"And there's the Opie… don't say bitchy." he said.

You do realize you say fuck forty two thousand times a day right?"

"And the Jenna." he added wondering down the hall .

-/-/-/-

He leaned in the doorway. "Hey my Jenna, I heard I ruined a perfectly good movie."

"And a marriage too!" she said spitefully.

"Okay I deserved that one. I brought you frito chili pie and candy bar pie made it myself too."

"Damn you, you're good." he smiled at her and crawled on to the bed.

"We are not having sex with my niece in the house cowboy dream on."

"I just came to watch the movie."

"Good because if we ever do have sex again you are getting tested for all manner of disease including rabies."

"They have to chop off my head to test that."

she shrugged. "How bad do you want it?"

"Pretty damn bad but then again you know that already don't you Jenna, things may go shit side up today baby and I don't want the fact that I didn't fix things on my conscience if I die."

"Don't fucking talk like that!" she shot him a fretful look.

"It's just facts babe I did what I did and got no problem with it but I don't trust Stahl as far as I can throw her."

"Jax-"

"Look at me and listen Jenna. Really listen, I made a mistake a huge one I know that. It doesn't change the fact that we love each other. I know you love me. I know that in my bones…" she started to tear up. He reached up wiping them away.

"I can't trust you now." her voice came out small and weak with the effort it took to hold back her sobs. "You betrayed me and with someone who didn't deserve you. If it was Tara I'd least understand it but it was Ima ."

"I'll earn your trust back but you've gotta give me the chance."

"Okay."

"Just okay?"

"Yeah but it won't be easy on you."

"Didn't expect it to be." he leaned over and kissed her deeply.

"I need to you to do something for me okay?"

"Alright."

"Whatever happens today Jenna, I'll love you always."

"Don't make me cry asshole. Again I mean."

-/-/-/-

Jax fastened her bullet proof vest. "There ya go baby. I totally don't want you to do this but you are the best option we got."

"Jackson?" she pulled his face toward hers. "I trust you with my life. My heart might be another matter, but I know you know what you are doing and I trust it." she kissed him. "See you in a bit cowboy."

Jenna made sure the safety was off her gun and in her lap as she drove her tarp covered truck with Jimmy in the back.

"The things I do for this club… can you shoot prospect?" she asked the burly man next to her. He was silent.

"I'll take that as a no. Well if we need to open fire you're gonna drive which means the left lever is gas right is brake got it. Do not use your feet or you will fuck up all kinds of shit on my truck and I'll be pissed you don't want that we clear?"

"Yes Ma'am.

"Good.

-/-/-/-

Jenna sat next to where Gemma stood as the boys rolled in Stahl was behind them and her stomach dropped as Jax led her to the Jimmy filled truck and arrested him.

"How'd you know he was there?" Clay asked she looked straight at Jax your V.P. made a deal." And Jenna went numb. She heard all the shouting only it was though they were all under water. She doesn't register that she's sobbing as they cart him off.

-/-/-/-

Jax can hear Jenna's choked and broken sobs and looks over his shoulder and sees her crumpled in on herself head in her hands.

Catching her eyes seems to knock her from her reverie and she rolls toward him quickly. She next to him as he asked. "Let me go for just as a second please I'm not going to run I'm going to pick up my wife." surprisingly. The cop let go of his arm.

He picked her up.

"Hey baby, I need you calm down ok?" he wiped her tears. " shh, I'm sorry."

"I love you Jax."

"Love you…" she kissed him. "Breathe baby…just breathe …" he kissed her again and put her down. He looked over to Lyla "Make sure she doesn't go into labor and they put him in the paddy wagon.

-/-.-/-

She trying to decide whether or not to paint Arizona's half of the room pink since Jax won't be there to stop her. When Filthy Phil brings her a letter.

"Jax said read this then burn it."

She opened the letter.

Hey baby,

If you are reading this it means that Stahl and Jimmy are dead. I got mom out of the murder charges and the club is doing small time. What I'm saying is that I didn't rat. The boys knew we planned it. Ope got his retribution and everything just might be okay. I love you and I'm so sorry I scared you as badly as I know I probably I will. Don't paint lil' man's room pink that's just wrong baby! See your beautiful face in fourteen months. Until then be happy my love.

-Jax

P.S. I couldn't tell you it would of made you an accessory and orange would clash with your hair. Seriously burn this fucking thing first thing.

She looked up at Phil tears making tracks down her face and hysterical laughter bubbled up out of her. The prospect looked a little frightened.

"Where's my brother?" he looked blank "Opie is my brother Jack ass where is he?"

He shrugged "His house?"

"Right, never rely on a prospect do shit yourself ol' lady 101."

She burned the letter putting the ashes down the disposal.

-/-/-/-

"Opie!" she rolled though the door shouting his name.

"In the kitchen sis." he sat at the table playing scrabble with the kids. He held out his free arm waiting for the hug he knew would be coming. She rolled to him hugging him tight.

"We wanted to tell you, it was just safer not too."

"Stahl?"

"Took care of it." he said devoid of emotion.

She leaned back a little "Feel better?"

"Tell you later. Is quixotic a word?"

"Yes, Paige isn't cheating."

"Too damn smart." he reached over ruffling her blonde hair.

-/-/-/-

Four months later…

Jenna lay on the couch with Paige lounged with her head laying on her belly. Lyla sitting in the floor Tara taking the love seat. Gemma was making popcorn for their Molly Ringwald Movie Marathon.

"Why can't more men be like Ducky?" Lyla asked.

"You mean fashion handicapped and questioning his sexuality?" Jenna answered and Tara laughed.

"No always there for her…"

"He only wanted in her pants to see if he was gay or not Ly."

"You are cynical."

"Lack of sex makes me that way. Sorry!"

"No talking about sex around the kid." Gemma sauterned in handing the popcorn to Paige.

"She does have terrible taste in this movie." Gemma commented.

"Jax always says people named Blaine are destined to be douche bags." Jenna and Tara said at the same time. "Okay that was creepy." Lyla pointed out.

"Aunt Jenny your stomach muscles keep tightening. Can't you feel it?

"I think its just gas."

"How often is it happening Jen?" Tara asked.

"Bout every twenty minutes."

"Those are contractions."

"Wha-What? It doesn't really hurt!"

"It will." Gemma said.

"Come on we're going to the hospital." Tara said. Motioning to get the other woman moving.

"Call Ope, He's my Lamaze coach."

"On it." Lyla hopped up.

"I love that you got Daddy to be your he- he who-who person I'll call Gran and Gramps." Paige said.

-/-/-/-

Three hours later…

She's clutching on to Opie like there is no tomorrow. "Fuck this breathing shit this hurts now."

"Hang on sis your doing good."

"No, no, I'm not I actually want my Mommy. Me who really has trouble even half way tolerating our mother wants her here," Opie pressed the nurse button eyeing her blood pressure reading. "I think we are ready for pain meds in here!" he said through the comm.

"I'm not a pussy Ope."

"Never said you were I went through this twice with Donna you'll thank me later Jen." he grinned

-/-/-/-

After confessing her undying love for the anthieslogist and a little high from the sudden relaxation the epidural brought on. Jenna sat in the bed.

"Opie if I tell you something will you promise not to laugh?"

"Scouts honor baby sis."

"I talk to Donna a lot and asked her if she was here with us today in spirit you know too send me a sign. Do you think that's stupid?"

"You'll get that sign sis. I'd bet my life on it cause she ain't missing this for anything not even death." he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"I am happy for you and Lyla, it's just hard because I really miss her and sometimes I feel like accepting Lyla feels like a betrayal."

"Nobody understands that better than me Sis. I get it and I promise you I don't take it personally. Me and you we were a package deal. I loved her even more for you loving you kid."

"Did it help? Turning the tables on Stahl?"

"Why do you ask?"

She smirked in half evil half doped up way that really creeped Opie out.

"Because I'm still pissed at Clay about it and I wanna know if shooting him is gonna make me feel better?"

Opie gave a barky laugh. "You won't shoot him, it would hurt Gemma. Not that I don't share the same sentiments at times. Truthfully Jennasis?" he sighed. "Why are we talking about this now?"

"Promised you'd tell me later. It's later and shockingly we're alone."

"I thought I would feel relief or at the very least justification but I didn't I just felt…hulled out." he shrugged his face telling her he was somewhere else besides the red hard plastic chair at her side. "I was no more fixed than I was in the five minutes before I pulled that trigger."

Jenna nodded. "Did she beg and cry?"

He nodded. "Good." was her only reply.

Their mother chose that moment to stroll in.

"How are my babies?" the both of them plastered on smiles. "Fine Ma." Opie answered for both of them since Ann was forcing ice chips onto his sister.

-/-/-/-

Jax sat an metal table in one of Chino's common rooms and watched the leggy lawyer named Lohan stride toward him in over priced shoes.

"Jax, how would you like to go see your daughter be born?"

"Don't toy with me." he grumbled.

"I'm not your mother has had me working on it since you went in."

"But how?"

"I explained about your wife's extenuating medical circumstances and you've been a good boy as of late in short I worked miracles that's what you pay me the big bucks for isn't it. Now hurry up she was two centimeters dilated when I walked in here." Lohan actually smiled. "And you get to surprise her."

-/-/-/-

Jax knows people are staring at him as he trucks down the hospital corridor in his orange jumpsuit and leg irons guards flanking him but he can care less. He gets to keep his promise to Jenna and see his baby girl be born.

He sees his mom leaning on the wall to the left of a pink door.

"Ma!" she rushed toward him but stops short of grabbing him. The sharp look Evans had given her put her off .

"You made it in time." he hears a squeaky noise filter through the door and his heart falters with it. "She's fine just tired been pushing going on three hours now. Tara said the baby might need the help of the vacuum but I think she's being stubborn and waiting on you so get in there.

-/-/-/-/-

The door swings open and what he sees actually makes him smile. Opie is sitting up in the bed behind Jenna. cut tossed off hair up out of the way both of Jenna's hands in his a determined look on his face. And his beautiful Jenna, she looks all kinds of pissed off brow quirked in serious manner . Her hair tossed up on top of her head. Sweat sheening her body.

He knows it will sound odd to anyone if he ever says it aloud but to him, her beauty changes him off guard the way it did the first time he realized she was so much more than just Opie's baby sister. He can't breathe and he is sure he's standing there smiling dopily but he can't make himself care.

"I can't do this anymore Ope, I'm so tired."

"Yes, you can Jenna."

Every head in the room whips around and Paige snaps a picture. "No way!" Jenna says and begins to cry. Opie laughs. "Perfect timing man." he shuffles over and the guard Prescott cuffs him to the bed rail and goes to stand outside the door.

"What? How?" Jenna questions.

"Surprise. told you I'd do my best to be here." he leaned over and kissed her.

"Get ready to push Jen. You're having a contraction." Tara interrupted. She placed one of her hands in Jax's closest one.

"Careful man she'll break your damn hand. Opie commented. Ann reached over to wipe away her sweat. "Piermont turn off the damn Jeopardy we're getting down to the nitty gritty." She ordered. Jenna bore down with a growling grunt sound that scared him a little.

Nine sets of pushing later and Arizona was making her way into the world.

"I see the head aunt Jenny."

"No crotch pictures!" Ann said. Jax looked down and watched his daughter enter the world.

Tara lay the pink screaming and messy baby girl on Jenna's middle. Jax tried very hard to keep his emotions in check. He watched as Jenna smiled widely. tears dripping down her face as she counted fingers and toes. He cut the cord with his free hand.

"Holy crap! I… we-we have a tiny human." this made him laugh.

"That we do babe." he kissed her again.

"Hey ma! Come pick the lock on Jax's cuff so he can-Jenny look!" She looked out the window Opie was looking out and there were two rainbows criss-crossed over the club house a street over.

"There's your sign sis." she choked on a sob. He kissed Jenna's temple "That's your aunt saying hi Arizona Dawn." Opie told her.

-/-/-/-

Opie went to fill in Gemma and Lyla. Jax free of his shackles thanks to Ann funnily enough he sat in a rocker holding her.

"They are doing her surgery in the morning. I'll keep you updated as best I can."

"That's fine baby I trust you. She's so lovely Jenna. I've never, she's delicate its cool…"

Gemma brought in Abel. "It's Daddy…" Tara helped Jenna into her chair.

He tottled over Jax's side. "Hey Lil man look what I got." "Baby…." Abel said in awe. "Have…" he held out his arms. Gemma sat him in Jax's lap.

He stroked the baby's head.

He looked up at Jax. "Mine?"

"You bet baby she's your sister." Jenna said rolling over.

-/-/-/-

Jax can hear her crying from the bassinet at the end of their bed. Jenna groans her dislike and moves to get up. "No I got her. You sleep." "Ha, hum…bottle Jax." was her sleep riddled delirious reply. He smiles.

"I know where they are darlin." he walks over gingerly picking up Arizona. "Mornin' sweet baby Zona." she continues to squall at him not at all impressed with him. He feels her diaper and raises her for the up for the sniff test.

"Well, you are dry and don't stink. Which is good I totally would have woken your mother for a shitty diaper." he thought she smiled at him when the crying resumes he thinks maybe not.

"She's hungry Jax. Now shut up." Jenna muttered. "Love you too darlin." Jax replied bundling the baby up. He journeyed to the kitchen and fixed the bottle all the while Arizona making her discomfort known. He tested the bottle on his chest since his hands were full.

"Pretty perfect…" he gave her the bottle she sucked greedily. The sun was just beginning its rise he carried her outside and sat down in Piney's old wooden rocker that Jenna had stolen.

"This is my favorite time of day Zona, no one knows that but you. Wanna know why it's my favorite…" she just continued eating. He yawned.

"I'll take that as a yes, it's the best light to see your mother's face in. I always thought she was extra pretty when all that stained glass could just barely be seen on her skin. Maybe watching the sun rise can become our thing like breakfast and throwing mashed up cheerios at me is your bother's thing what you think?" she started to go to sleep.

"No, stay awake I like talking to you… you don't have much to say like your Paw Paw Piney but that's ok."

He brushed his thumb down her cheek. "Man, you're pretty…not sure how I did that. Made something this pretty and you even have my nose and chin. Which is kinda cool since Abel looks a lot like Wendy just now…but that's your mama's eyes and mouth…yep definitely I'd know them anywhere. You know I'm kinda scared to have a girl because what do I do with you I don't really know. Something I do know though? You come from a long line of really strong women that makes me feel better because I know you'll be ok…I wasn't really sure about your name either but your mom says you needed some magic and strength to be in this family and Arizona well lets face it no one's going to fuck with a girl named Arizona. Arizona fits you. Zona fits you better though, Look at that sky isn't it pretty…" he looked down and she was sleeping soundly. Here in this moment the rising sun warming his bare skin and his baby daughter in his arms his family inside safe and whole he was able to breathe. He was at peace...

Juice threw a pillow at him. "Wake up man, you got tiny human visitors and one real pretty old lady waitin' on you."

He finds his family in the visitors area. He's not allowed to kiss Jenna or to hug her for more than a breath and a half but they will let him hold his kids and so he does.

He sits across the metal table holding Jenna's hand. As they talk about life his son using his arm as a race track for his match box car complete with vroom vroom sounds.

He holds his sweet girl and she jabbers at him, pulling his hair every few noises.

"I'm listening darlin'." He tells her with a smile.

And he's happy for just this tiny space in time.

"I have something for you Jenna." he looks around to make sure the they won't take it as contra band. He hands her a bracelet, a large deep blue glass bead on a sliver chain. "I made it from the stained glass windows of our church. The night before…I went there to think and found a shard in the grass I snuck it in here and made it in the art class they offer here."

She smiled "Jax this qualifies as a romantic gesture."

He shrugged. "So much destruction around you … I wanted you to have something pretty."

Yes for now this was as close to perfect as he was gonna get and he's okay with it.

-/-/-/-

**AN: I own nothing but my characters as always I hope you liked it. Deleted scenes will be up soon by Friday I hope if there are any gaps you'd like me to fill in let me know. Do you guys want me to do this for Season 4? If so give me plot ideas for next season! I haven't made the graphics for Arizona yet but she has strawberry blonde hair and blue green eyes and favors Jax a little more than Jenna in case you were wondering. This is always a blast thanks so much R&R- Meg**


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